Lost And Scared Options

[Lindsey12]

My boyfriend has recently found God again and it has become a huge part of his life. I have never really been a spiritual person, and didn't really ever expect to be. Since he has found God, I have started to feel hatred towards God, myself, and towards spirituality altogether. It has gotten so bad that I don't feel hungry or thirsty, and I cry almost all day long. The other day i was crying, then suddenly stopped. After that I felt so numb, and began to feel so depressed that I started thinking about hurting myself and having thoughts of suicide. I have had these thoughts before, and even attempted it once. The feelings felt as strong as they had the day I attempted it, to the point where I even considered just running my car right off the road. I am so scared and I have pushed away my family members and no longer cared to see any of them (my family is very close) and all I want to do is stay in bed all day long. This has affected my personality and my work performance. I have not felt this depressed in years, and it just keeps getting progressively worse. I feel completely hopeless and angry. I have such negative thoughts; that I don't believe I deserve to be with my boyfriend anymore, and that because of the things I have done, I do not deserve God's acceptance.

My boyfriend has been telling me to pray, which I finally did yesterday. After I prayed I felt so much better, and even began smiling again. These feelings are still very persistent in my head, and I'm very frightened. Please help me pray for God's acceptance, and for me to fully accept him into my life. Please also extend your prayers to my boyfriend, Kevin, so that his healing may continue, and his panic attacks will cease.

[Glen]

Hi Lindsey! Your bf led you in the right direction...toward God. The depression may be the devil trying to keep you away from God. That feeling that you don't deserve God? It's a lie from the devil. Actually, none of us is good enough to deserve God. That's ghow much God loves you and I, they He made a way, through Jesus, to have God in our lives, even though we don't deserve Him. Keep draweing near to God and He will draw near to you.

If He doesn't seem to clear up the depression thing, there may be a physical aspect to it that your doctor can give you medicine for.

[Linda]

Hi, Lindsey!

First of all, welcome to web-church. God has led you here, as He led Kevin to encourage you to pray. The Bible says, "All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28).
God is desiring to work in your life as a result of Kevin's place in your life. And I echo everything Glen wrote; it's the old devil trying to prevent you from coming to Christ, now that he can't do a thing about Kevin.

Glen's also right in saying that we can't do a thing to deserve or earn our way to God. Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." (John 14:6). We are all sinners who don't deserve heaven. BUT--the good news is---while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:9). And He promised that He would turn no one away who comes to Him. So, keep praying and drawing close to God. He's big enough to handle your anger and all the emotions you're dealing with right now. It's important to humble yourself and declare your complete dependence on Him. He knows all about you, before you say a word. He created you to have a relationship with Him and reflect His glory, but that's a process. The Bible states it as, "from glory to glory."

Keep in touch and let us know what God does in your life. I'll be praying for you and so will everyone here at web-church. God bless.

Loving Him,
><Linda>

[calyxlilly]

i will pray for you/ Please do not hurt your self. In time you will feel better. god will help you. i have found that god will put people in your life to help you. call your family. they love you and will help. also try going to a counselor. calyxlilly