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entry Feb 2 2008, 11:56 AM
The person who is really committed to self improvement is one who uses the circumstances of life to inform him of areas his life needs work. The good news is, you're not always at fault. The bad news is, you often are. Here are two conditions we can use to determine if we need to change something about ourselves:
1. Complaint or disagreement with others: Even if not immediately, always look at the nature of disconnects with other people. Ask yourself, is this something I encounter a lot? If so, there may be something in your attitude or communication technique that would serve you better in getting your position across. Sometimes, like with me, the problem is in a need to get your point across. Most of my problems lately have been from a "need" to share my opinion when my opinion isn't needed. Yes, I'm working on it.
2. Emotional reaction to others: Does someone's behavior or style offend you? Do you always react the same way when receiving criticism, praise, advice? Do you have a reaction if you don't get a reaction from someone else? Now, sometimes, people are doing things that should naturally generate an emotional response...like yelling at you or threatening you. But, if we're feeling unnatural emotional responses to people, these can be extremely valuable in seeing into ourselves and picking out character flaws. Sometimes, we can get clues about things that happened way back in our past that, once understood, can be prevented from dictating our feelings today. This is probably why all counselors ask, "How did that make you feel?"
Though, sometimes people are jerks and just need to be disliked, opposed and avoided, most of the time, our reactions to people are rooted in things we need to root out of ourselves. We can use these as powerful character-building tools if we have the courage to look within ourselves.

 
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