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entry Feb 9 2008, 12:12 PM
Sometimes, an honest person has trouble figuring out the cause of relationship problems. Now, all such problems look like the other person's fault. I mean, isn't that what arguments are all about? We're right and they're wrong! Problem is, that's what they think, too. So, a mature person will admit the possibility of being wrong...if not in fact...in the way that fact is communicated. So, now where do we stand? We could be the source of the problem or they could.
That's where triangulation comes in. Smart weapons are guided using three points (triangle corners) to bring the payload to the target: the target, the shooter, and a third point away from the target and shooter. The weapon uses this triangle to adjust it's flight and hit the target. Does this mean we should bomb the other person to fix the relationship? No!
What it means is, if you find yourself having the same kind of problem with more than one person, then you can triangulate back to yourself as the cause. This doesn't mean that they aren't wrong, just that you're contributing to the problem. Usually, you don't have to wait for a second person to be mad, just think back over previous relationship problems with others and look for similarities. If you find them, this is invaluable in helping you fix the things that need fixing in you in order to prevent future problems. And, after all, you're the only one you can fix.

 
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