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> Asking God Whether To Wither,wait Or What, infidelity
Guest_malone628_*
post Aug 23 2006, 09:33 PM
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sad.gif It's been two years now since my wife changed my life by having an affair with a co-worker which continues today. His 20th but he is single and 10 years younger with no children and to my knowledge anyway, her first. My problem really isn't so much about the affair anymore as it is with the deprivation of my rights as a father to indeed father my 2 beautiful children everyday. My children are healthy and great kids and I should be grateful from God that they are, and that my health is fine. I have never been an advocate of divorce and never looked at marriage as so disposable as people do today. She served me with divorce papers back in January, but she has since dragged her feet. If I push it myself it will save me dramatically financially in which now I am literally scraping to make ends meet and be able to provide an inviting environment for my children when they are with me. My wife seems to have no conscience or guilt for the pain she has caused myelf as well as my children. Can she go on living without it and should I pursue other avenues than I currently am. And finally, will I ever be able to actually love again. 2 years and not as much as a spark. I have tried to let people into my life, but I have been unable to. I am in a bit of a depression and I feel God is the only One who can pull me out of this. This site is wonderful and it took a lot of courage to write, but I finally did. Hope someone can help me...John
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Glen
post Aug 24 2006, 03:37 AM
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Hi John! I'm so sorry this has happened. Thanks for the nice words about the website. I moved your post to the Prayer Request forum so people would receive it in emails for prayer.
As much as I'm against divorce, this is a situation where it is called for and appropriate. I'll never know the emotional aspects of it (I pray) but I can guess how hard it is to pull that trigger. The fact is, you are divorced...she did that 2 years ago...the only thing left is the paperwork.
It's the paperwork, though, that ties up the loose ends and formalizes the way you will manage the affairs of your children. It's the only stability they can hope for at this point, and worth doing for them. It doesn't mean that, at some future date, God willing, she could learn from her mistake and your relationship is renewed. I've seen God do that after 5 years of divorce.
This is a very hard place to be in. We'll be praying for you. Please keep us posted on what's happening.


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Love & Hugs,
Glen


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Guest_malone628_*
post Sep 13 2006, 05:25 PM
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Thank you Glen. I will keep you updated on my circumstances. My wife has left my life but my wonderful children remain. My job although well paying is hindering me from being the father I need to be to make my life more complete and to serve as Jesus as so many times is requested in the Bibl. My latests question is in our state, support for children is very unfair regardless of circumstances. I have an option to take a lower paying job, but will enable me to spend more time with my children which besides God himself is all I have going for me. Material things mean nothing to me and I want my children to learn that value as well, but my wife claims if I change jobs I will be hurting the children and the amount they will have basically because it will lower her support payment I am guessing. I feel the more quality time I spend with them is worth more than anything she or I can buy them. Am I being selfish by making a career change?
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Glen
post Sep 13 2006, 05:44 PM
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As hard as it is for you to gauge your ex-wife's motives concerning your job, it's impossible for me to gauge yours. The Bible says the heart is deceitful in all its ways. Prayerfully search your heart, and, if it's for the kids, you'll have no motive for the career change to purposefully reduce the payments to your ex-wife. You will easily be able to say to the man in the mirror, "I'm not being selfish."


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Love & Hugs,
Glen


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