I am a 26 year old man that has been blessed all his life. Sure i had the self esteem, family and lifestyle choices trouble, but to be honest, i did ok with what i had. My family was struggling to become together but for some reason by the grace of god we all survived. I felt like ending my life at one time, but then everything was ok. I felt God's love.

I was in a relationship with the woman of my dreams for 7 years. I remember i thanked god for her soo much everyday. Over the course of the years, I stopped saying those prayers. 2 years ago....i dont know why exactly, but i started to have a malignant and heavy heart. I stopped praying. But i become more and more successful. People started to love me at my job. I felt like i could talk and joke with anyone. I felt like i could make my girl feel jealous. I became vain. I wanted to look cool and suave so that women will notice me. I because arrogant and self indulgent. I talked to a girl at work to boost my ego. I had no feelings of remorse or regret.

Then the woman of my dreams, who obviously knew that i was different, worried about me. During all this time, she was just as sweet and passionate and caring as ever. One day she found out that i was talking to this girl at work. The read a transcript of my conversations with this girl. I talked freely about sex, and about the many things in my life. I lied about many aspects of my life to this girl at work to boost my ego. I even expressed doubt about the relationship i was involved in (with the the girl of my dreams). I even attacked the girl that i love.

Needless to say...this hurt my girl more than anything in her life. Her heart became cold and she lost respect and love for me. Ironically around this time, i had stopped acting like this jerk and really tried to get my life back to normal. Offcourse i didn't want my girl to find out about what a horrible man i had been.

I genuinely apologized for my foolishness and selfish ways with the co worker girl. I also apologized to my friends and other people that i hurt. I cried with the girl of my dreams, and i apologized and genuinely felt remorse and sadness. Even while she has such anger and sadness, she still cared for me. We broke up on paper, but we still stayed with each other since we truly did care for each other deeply.

But in the past year even when i still had the girl of my dreams...i did not pray. I did not grow. i did not seek to ask god's forgiveness. I did not submit to God's will.

About 3 weeks ago...the girl of my dreams says she lost all respect for me and does not love me anymore. She shut me off completely. A few days ago i find out that she has been dating someone for 2 weeks.

I dont even know where to begin to pick up the pieces.
I'm not even sure how to move on.

I wish that things never turned out this way. I wish things never turned out so cruel. I wish i had never done any of those things. Things i would never imagine i would do.

This is not a case of i want my dream girl back.

This is a case of truly broken heart...a heart that i can't even stand. I have been a horrible person. I lied all the time. I was so selfish.

I request a prayer...for her...and for me.

I dont want to pray for things like I want my girl back. I dont want to pray for her to love me again.

I just want to pray that God will take care of her and of me. To pray for some peace and to pray that we submit our will to god. I just want and wish and cry that God takes control of our lives...and leads us to happiness.

sigh

I cant write anymore...i'm crying

Well, Sir, it seems you have said all that needs to be said. A broken and contrite spirit God will honor, In Jesus" Name, Amen.

Shalom.

Amen and Amen!

I will pray for you and your dream girl. A broken heart can be mended.... all it takes is time, patience, and prayer. Remember to go back to the way you once were, and put your faith in God. He is listening and so are we. You will be in my prayers.....

dang dude, thats prolly the most touching thing i've seen on here. you and ur girl will be in my and my families prayers. i hope everything comes out good for you, im sure it will with the grace of god. just dont get too down and out my friend. keep your head high. at least you realized what u have done and want to change things, thats the first step. stay strong, keep/start praying and god bless