Hello... I am a 17 year old girl.
I'm struggling with a pornography and masturbation addiction. I have to jump straight to the point 'cause I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE. I've tried to stop. I usually do stop for a few days...but then I always end up finding myself back at square one. Then this guilt and shame and fear that the Holy Spirit has left me. I swear "I'm free! It's gone, I'm not addicted anymore"...ugh! Praise The Lord this and Bless The Lord that..what a hypocrite I am. Then I try to rationalize saying God created sex and it's all good. MY mind has slipped into perverseness. I don't want to do this anymore. This isn't right. My soul cries out for righteousness. But I am weak. Now I think about sex on any random occasion. It's worsened throughout the years. I've been doing this since I was a young child. I can't even remember how this all started. BUT I do know that ever since I've tried to stop and have always failed. I long for the days when I can declare victory and Bless The Lord's Holy Name. I'm constantly battling urges and slipping into private fantasies, sneaking on the computer, turning on the tv when no one is around to indulge in this sin. Even my thoughts are covered by this perversion. I am weak. I'm tired of carrying this around with me. Even at church sometimes unclean thoughts sneak up on me. I don't want this. I'm tired of it. I try to pray, and read my Bible. But it never lasts. I don't want to do this anymore. This had led into insecurities, depression, etc. please help. Don't sugar coat it. I just want the raw Truth. HELP
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