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> Relationships With Members Outside Of "small Group Time.", What does it look like?
Brinx
post Jul 16 2008, 09:33 AM
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I am in a small group and I think I expect more out of it than what I should. We meet and are "friends" and have great discussions and have great bond during small group time. When time to go we hug and say things like "love you brother" and stuff like that. We then see each other on Sunday mornings and hug and chit chat and say "Love you brother" and stuff like that. We have these once a week "non-meaningful" 3 minute conversations and then once every other week during small group time conversations. We supposedly have great relationships and depend on each other and rely on each other and lean on each other.

Here's where my difficulty comes in......Outside of the above, I don't see from or hear from these 5 other guys any other time other than when the discussion topic and questions are e-mailed to everyone for the upcoming small group time. I feel like there should be more from these men? I feel like these guys should be the guys that I "hang out" with. I feel like these guys are the families that my family should have BBQs with on the weekends. I feel like these guys are the guys I go to a football game with. I feel like these guys are the guys I should go up to the hospital with when a church member has fallen ill or has a new born baby. I feel like these guys are the guys I should do some community service work with.

I feel like I'm the only one of us 6 guys that desires to have a relationship with these men outside of the 1 hour every 2 weeks we get together. Am I out of line for thinking that we should have more real "true" friendship/relationships outside of the small group? Or am I expecting to much and should be more in line with the rest of the guys?

Thank you,

Brinx
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semi
post Aug 29 2008, 11:03 AM
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You are seeking fellowship and apparently the others are not. Just maybe; they are not taking this as seriously as you are.

The only advice I can give is: change groups. Try some groups at other churches where I would think you'll find more fellowshipping.

You don't need to break away from your present church to do this unless you want to.

Shalom.
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Glorey
post Aug 30 2008, 05:11 PM
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Hi there -
In answering your question, I need to ask a few....

My questions would be

1) What is the sharing time like in the small group?
2) Do you have a facilitator?
3) What resources are you using?
4) Do you feel that everyone shares equally and is the facilitator skilled in
bringing out participation in all the members? (Is there usually one or two members who
talk a lot?)
5) Do the members regularly ask for prayer/support outside of the group?
6) How big is the group and how long have they been meeting?

Answers to these would be a start in seeing what stage the group is in regarding the level of relationship....

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Fran
post Apr 22 2010, 12:35 PM
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Hi Brinx; You know that saying, action speaks louder than words, well there are those type of people who are either just all faith and no works or all works and no faith, but we are reminded through God's words, it is faith and works. The fruit that should be immediately sensed and seen in any fellowship is that family spirited atmosphere. Isn't that is why God walks, live, breathe and moves in us, because he cherishes our fellowship with Him, so it is important that we connect as God's family here on earth as it is in heaven. If people claim fellowship with Christ and so it is with one another, the Lord emphasized it so many ways and so many times, how the brethren should love another, go the extra mile for another, give, uplift, encourage one another etc., and he didn't mean just in a 4 wall building church. Let God's spirit lead you brother where He knows, where you will be received and welcomed in and out of church. God bless, Fran
QUOTE (Brinx @ Jul 16 2008, 09:33 AM) *
I am in a small group and I think I expect more out of it than what I should. We meet and are "friends" and have great discussions and have great bond during small group time. When time to go we hug and say things like "love you brother" and stuff like that. We then see each other on Sunday mornings and hug and chit chat and say "Love you brother" and stuff like that. We have these once a week "non-meaningful" 3 minute conversations and then once every other week during small group time conversations. We supposedly have great relationships and depend on each other and rely on each other and lean on each other.

Here's where my difficulty comes in......Outside of the above, I don't see from or hear from these 5 other guys any other time other than when the discussion topic and questions are e-mailed to everyone for the upcoming small group time. I feel like there should be more from these men? I feel like these guys should be the guys that I "hang out" with. I feel like these guys are the families that my family should have BBQs with on the weekends. I feel like these guys are the guys I go to a football game with. I feel like these guys are the guys I should go up to the hospital with when a church member has fallen ill or has a new born baby. I feel like these guys are the guys I should do some community service work with.

I feel like I'm the only one of us 6 guys that desires to have a relationship with these men outside of the 1 hour every 2 weeks we get together. Am I out of line for thinking that we should have more real "true" friendship/relationships outside of the small group? Or am I expecting to much and should be more in line with the rest of the guys?

Thank you,

Brinx

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joshhuntnm
post Sep 15 2012, 11:05 PM
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Steve Gladen has a book on small groups -- small groups with a purpose. he has some excellent ideas on this.


Josh Hunt
www.joshhunt.com
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