Hi,
This is the first time that I have been on this website. I am in desperate need of prayer and answers. I will try to tell the short version of my situation. I am a christian, have been married to my husband for 25 years and have 3 children. (2 boys and 1 girl)
My youngest, turned 20 a few weeks ago. She has been dating a non christian for about a year. She's always told me and her dad and the rest of our family that she and her boyfriend were 2 differnt people with going in differnt directions. she also said that she didn't feel that she should give up on him being saved-so she continued to see him. They broke up because he was saying some really bad things to her and trying to pressure her into moving in with him. they were broke up for 2 weeks then she came home one night and said that she was moving in with him. She has always been avery good christian girl, never drinking, cursing,etc. Never gave us any trouble. his mom lives with her boyfriend of 5 years and thinks that nothing is wrong with her situation. Now my daughter lives with her boyfriend and his mom and her boyfriend? We had no warning that she was leaving and when she left, she showed no emotions and said she did not care if we were upset. and that This was her choice, not ours. The boyfriend has been telling her for months that she and i did not have a good relationship. however, he couldnt be more wrong. She called me 4 or 5 times a day to get my opinion and/or advice on what ever she was doing at the time. She called just to say hey. She helped me do almost everything and i helped her with most everything. Now, shes been gone a month. at first, we didn't talk because she didn't want to. She acts like a completely different person. and seems as if she has no feelings for her family. She doesn't seem to care at all that we are upset. I keep wondering what i could have done wrong to make her act this way. I have been praying a lot , reading the bible, and other christian books more than i have in years. I am angry with God because this has happened. and i am finding it very hard to trust him. i don't understand why he would allow my family to be torn apart. i just don't understand. hes suppose to love her more than I do and it doesn't seem as if he is going to get her out of that house. Theres a lot more to this, but i don't know what to do. should i talk with her like nothing is wrong, (which i can't seem to do without getting very upset) i have cried for a month. i cant act as if our relationship hasn't changed. she wants me to act the same as we always have.) Some people tell me i don't need to talk to her. I am praying to God to help us but it seems he isn't listening. What do I need to do? Please help me! I love God and my family. I'm trying to trust him with this but I don't want her to be in this guys house. This cant be Gods will--can it? Is he trying to punish me for something I've done? Any advice? I am deeply troubled and to not know what to do. I do not want to turn away from God. i know that hes my only hope--but im so afraid that hes not going to fix this.
Thanks!

You of course know about the prodigal son. You just might have a little of that going on.

I was the oldest of 4 in my family - I was 19, and I moved out into a room by myself close to my job some 13 miles from home. I'm sure my mother also had a hard time with that. I didn't call or come home to see anyone for I know it was at least 3 weeks. I was just glad to be out on my own. The thing is that at that age one just wants to be independent. Leaving the nest, you know.

Of course I didn't move in with anyone. That's the big difference here. But you brought her up well and that should stay with her. You must accept that she has to make her own mistakes and live with them. - you can't live her life for her. What were you doing when you were 20? Were you still living at home?

You have to trust God to look after her and protect her and do not cease praying for her protection. At this point you cannot change anything or attempt to without making matters worse.

I pray that God keeps your daughter safe and that your relationship with her will not be damaged by this, In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Shalom.

Dear Sister,

I do sympathize with you being a mother myself. It looks like Semi and I have something in common. We are both the eldest of 4 kids and secondly, I also moved out at the age of 19, Not just out of my parent's house but I moved to another part of the world to stay with my aunt and didnt see my folks for 4 years, I grew up in a strict christian home and i became born again in high school and so when I left home I was already a christian. However, I found my self backsliding after some time of being on my own.. had boyfriends, knowing that it was not the will of God.. But i tell you something even with all the partying and stuff, A part of me still held onto my christian and moral upbringing and eventually the Holy Spirit arrested me and I rededicated my life afresh to God, saw my folks more often after that and developed a closer relationship with them , cut off ties with friends and associates who were not believers etc. All I am saying here is to be patient, its not easy i know.. but with your love and prayers, she will come back just like the prodigal son did.
Your daughter will never be comfortable in the lifestyle she is living I assure you... Just ask the Holy Spirit to have his way in her life and also protect her in the process. Things will change, you will see.
Sometimes God allows certain things to happen in our lives for a purpose and eventually that purpose will be revealed in his time. You see my mistakes and messes during that period finally became my ministry.. So just surrender everything to the Lord and trust him for your daughter's deliverance and future.

May the Lord grant you patience and his everlasting peace during this period.

Much love
Taykems.

Hello out there,
I just wanted to let u know that my 21 y/o daughter left just last week! Although she says she lives w/her girlfriend- I am convinced she has moved in with her boyfriend. This boyfriend is from high school and she broke up with hem back then cuz he wasn't spiritually at her level. How did she get back with him? I have no clue! She is definately not in a pure relationship! She was raised in the word and was even a member for 1yr of the Honor Academy in Texas.
I have to trust in the Lord that He will protect her and bring her back in His time. I guess she has to go out in the world in order to find out herself that there's nothing out there. Maybe hitting rock bottom will make her wake up and realize that Christ is the only rock.
I try to look at the positive (even though my heart is broken and I do alot of crying in the shower) I pray more, I worship more and I trust God more. Nothing like rekindling that fire for God when U see ur child hanging around the elevator to hell!!! My relationship with my husband is even improved, because I see how it hurts him to see me hurt.
I have been meditating on Psalms 138; especially the part that God says he will perfect that which concerns me. (my children concern me) and on Romans 8 where God says all things work together for the good for us, who have been called.
I remind God of his covenant in Deut 28; no where in there does it mention losing children! My family is restored! I keep confessing that, even though I do not see it. I have to have faith.
My daughter too wants to act as if nothing has happened and wants to talk like nothing is out of the norm. I have to love her and be patient with her. We can't preach hell to unbelievers; that's not going to get them saved. We have to let them know of God's love and I guess I have to gently remind my daughter that God loves her.
My daughters boyfriend is also poisoning her mind with lies of my relationship with her. Everyone swore me and her were sisters and we hung out like best friends. Things turned in less than 2 weeks. I feel as if this boyfriend is walking around wearing my daughters skin! This is not my daughter.
Don't forget about the spiritual side to this. Satan is lying to our daughters telling them that no one can hold the standard of purity and that what he has to offer is better than the promises of God. I am fasting, sowing seed and praying that this rebellion will not last beyond 2008. I pray that God allows her to see hell and that he even shakes my foundation so that we can be stronger when he brings us back from this pain. I believe, that somehow this is all to glorify God.
I've spending more time with him-so it is definately improving things. We went thru what we went thru to figure out that Christ is Lord and there is no one like Him; now we have to allow our daughters to experience something that will convince them that only God can fill the voids in there hearts.
I'll be praying for you too.

Hi 03:

I am praying for you --
I just want to say -
I understand about the pain of being
a parent, but being in a place where
you are unable to make
decisions for them, and you see that
what's going on isn't for their best..
It's good to reflect on the fact
God is Our Father and as He
parents us, daily, he is also ''raising''
our children and He loves them perfectly.

Your greatest asset in this
difficulty is your faith in Him!!
We can't always protect them, it just isn't
possible, that is why we must trust
their hearts and souls to God. We can't
make all their decisions and they aren't
always going to do what's best -- but may
God hear our prayers, and be with them
when we can't be there---

God Bless
dani