Livin With An Alcholic Options

[Pam]

I need help!! I have been marred to an alcoholic for 13 years and I can go on anymore. He is destroying me. I use to like myself but not I feel like a worthless human being. The abuse is unbearable, I feel like a week pathetic person because I continue to believe him when he says he will stop, but he never does. He has destroyed everything about me, spiritually, mentally, physical, emotionally, It will start in the morning the constant humiliation and it doesn’t stop until he decides to pass out. Maybe one day out of the week he will go with out cutting me down but that because he is so sick from the alcohol and pills that he sleeps all day. I need God’s help to make me strong and just leave and realize that he will not change and I have to save myself. I am not an ignorant person, I have a good job, and I work hard, why I can’t leave. He doesn’t love me, he love the drugs and alcohol. HELP ME, PRAY FOR ME!!!

[semi]

Pam -

Obviously your husband has left his first love (you) to commit adultery with substance abuse. I think it's obvious that he is not going to do one thing to fix the problem as long as you remain there to perpetuate his dependency. You are completely within your rights to simply pack up and leave. A separation may help him to realize that you are not going to tolerate this anymore - the time for talking about it is over.

This is hard to say these things being that this is a Christian site and if at all possible, Prayer and reconciliation should be first and foremost. But you are daily undergoing verbal abuse - and yes it takes its toll. After 13 years it is obvious he is not too serious about kicking the habit.

You might stress to him that he needs to get some help and he needs to get it NOW. If another day passes without him seeking help, I suggest that you pack up and leave. Do it discreetly so that when he wakes up from his binge you and all you own are gone.

13 years is a long time. Anyone I have ever seen that has been repeatedly or continually drunk for years simply is NOT going to change - unless MAYBE in the event that he finds himself alone and up against the wall.

If you have a good job, you can find yourself an apartment FAR from him but close to your job. I know this will not be easy because you might have a lease and worse yet it might well be in your name. But you can secure for yourself a place and move your things there and lastly what few things you can carry and yourself while he is passed out. Be on your guard because when he wakes up he might well be crazed and come looking for you.

Until then, I pray that if any other solution is possible that the Lord will quickly lead you to it, In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Shalom.