Paralyzing Fear Of Failure Options

[MBW52]

I'm a 56 yr. old woman. Last year I made a decision to leave my job because I was angry at the way I had been treated by an employee for the duration that I had been there- 21/2 yrs. (I did have very good relationships with some of the other employees- I had been in a talent show with some of them and I had gone on a red snapper fishing trip with another friend.) I was working as a Med. Tech. in microbiology. Christmas Day was my last day on the job. I was to begin working at another hospital nearby my home. The job didn't work out. I have not had a decent paying job for 9 mos. now. I applied to our local school district to work as a teacher's aide. I went on two interviews but was not hired. Recently, I went to another interview for an elementary teacher's aide and I have been recommended for the job. I am paralyzed with fear that I am going to fail. I got up this morning crying and all I could think about is that: "I let anger ruin my life and I am paralyzed with fear that I will fail. I have not been called from HR yet but the assistant principle called this week to let me know that she was recommending me for the job. There are some real concerns for me: 1) I have not worked with children for about 28 years. 2) I handle frustration poorly 3) Ihave a very strong fear of failure even after two of my friends gave me very good recommendations. 4) I have a fear of being consistent of doing the best I can do. 5) I fear that I don't have what it takes to be a consistent teamplayer.
I grew up going to church but for a long time I quit and even explored in another religion for a while. I have been praying to God for 9 mos now steadily and I don't see any real confidence changes within me. I really prefer not having to work but that is an impossibility. I fear being critized by other people. I take it personal. I feel like a failure. I know I need to feel excitement about possibly new job but I feel fear and dread instead. I need God's intervention in the worst way. I know one of the reasons I'm talking from my heart is because it is a safe environment. This morning when I had all of these negative thoughts and I found your web site- aftering listening to some beautiful songs, I felt so safe-so peaceful. But ultimately, I need God to change me. MBW52

[semi]

MBW52 -

I am not a psychologist but you need to ask yourself why you have this obsession with success or failure? People succeed and people fail. Most successful people have failed many times. I have myself succeeded at many things but at the same time I also failed at many things.

So, what I'm saying is, you need a different attitude about success and failure. If you fail; so what? Try something else. Do you really think those people out there really care whether you succeed or fail? No. Your boss wants you to succeed so he doesn't have to go through the hassle of replacing you. And that's about the extent of anybody else's concern over your success or failure.

Everyone deserves the Right to succeed but by the same token everyone also must have the Right to fail. Things often simply do not work out - that's no crime - it's not a shameful thing - it's just how life works.

Lord, Please give her Your Peace that passes all understanding and let her find her comfort zone, In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Shalom.