Hello, I'm new here but have been searching for an outlet for some emotional problems and confusion that I have suffered from in recent months. It seems I've been endlessly searching, without avail, to find the answers to my emotional distress. I've prayed to God about 1,000 times daily but I think God feels this is my fault for getting "off track." I'm a strong person but I think everyone is misled or makes mistakes and I think I deserve a chance to get back to being happy; I just feel I need a little help and understanding this time. Perhaps if you would take just a few seconds to ask God to put HIS faith in ME and help me through this difficult time, I could again be someone who is happy and makes people happy instead of living in a cloud of doubt, fear, and guilt. Thank you so much, God bless you and may you live in prosperity in all that you do.

- Michi

Hi Michi! Thanks for joining the forums and for all the encouragements you've shared with the other members. I'm praying that you see the faith God has in you...because it's already there. I also see the faith you have in God. The cloud of doubt fear and guilt you speak of probably comes from having less faith in yourself. You've asked God to forgive you but have you forgiven yourself? You're right that no Christian is without sin. John even said Christians who claim to be without sin are liars. Peter said no one could follow the Law, and Paul said he wanted to do what was right but couldn't keep from sinning. Am I telling you all of this to excuse whatever you did to get "off track?" No! I'm telling you this so you will know God is not vindictive and wouldn't say..."Now you've really done it!" He knows we get off track, He knows it's our fault and He knows none of us deserves forgiveness. That's why He sent Jesus in the first place. If you're in Jesus, there is no condemnation. There's just getting up, seeking Him and His help to do better next time. He has faith you will...so do I.



Also, I think once you forgive yourself, you'll find you still are the person who is happy and makes other people happy. That's certainly the person I saw in all those posts you left for the other forums members. You made me happy! Maybe that part of your prayer has already been answered.

Hi! Don't worry, God doesn't give us more chances because we deserve them, because none of us do. He does it because he loves us. He hates sin because it hurts us and others (and Him -- it pains a father to see his child suffer, even if the child caused it himself), but he sees those sins of his people through the blood of Christ. When a child learns to walk, he will fall. Will the parent scold him for falling and make him stay on the ground? Of course not, they will help him up. He sees us as his little children; He knows we are but dust. Repentance is an essential in the Christian life, and to function in His kingdom we need to stay out of willful sin, but even when we are reluctant to repent, God is always waiting for us. Feeling miserable is awful. I say this because I know; I am familiar with what depression and guilt can do. I've learned that that misery is not from God, and that He absolutely loves His children and longs to be close to them at all costs...ultimately at the cost of Christ.

Brandy

Thank you guys so much for being a part of my life here. It really means alot to know that we can share these things and it reinforces me to be in company with Christian people. What you are saying is right and I do need to forgive myself but it will take a little time. One other thing I really struggle with is I always feel I need to be the best at EVERYTHING and I go through life like a firecracker. Sometimes, this has hurt me and then it takes awhile for me to calm down and see things as God wants me to. The really pathetic part in all of this for me is that I could tell in the past months that God was telling me to not act in certain ways but I didn't believe it and I acted in recklessness even though I felt God was trying to say it would hurt me. Well, I chose not to listen and chose not to trust in those feelings and guess what..... it ended up hurting me bigtime. I need to learn to trust God's will, that it is good for me, that God wants good things for me and that God is wiser. I haven't always trusted God so maybe that's why sometimes, I act on my own when I really feel I shouldn't. Now I will place a firmer belief in what I think God wants and I will move on everyday knowing that I will soon be over this. I know from experience that when depression finally lifts, it is like being in a totally different world, one that you almost couldn't see before. I'm confident that if I stay right, I will shortly be over these problems. I have taken to drinking too much alcohol lately to deal with the problems I started myself and it is embarrassing to say so, even here where I'm not directly in front of you. It's embarrassing for me to say that but I want to admit it and in a way, I feel like I'm admitting these guilty things in front of God. It does feel horrible to feel horrible and it's a consuming thing that can't really be done away with in a matter of seconds. I need to repent today, keep reassuring God that *I* know that *I* was wrong and that's why *I* don't feel well. I just pray that God understands that I'm not perfect, that I feel horrible about the way I've acted, and I really want to get over it together and start anew. My life over this last year had some really huge, new blessings in it. The summer was unbelievable and like nothing I've ever known. I had new feelings for my family and for myself and for humanity. My disdain melted away and I was happy in what I saw as a new and lasting life. This was a gift from God that chose to disrespect and I chose to wander back to a life which I felt secure in but which ultimately, I feel, God did not want for me. I chose to stray from my new blessings and now, deep inside, I feel the great pain of my and God's disappointment. If and when my life goes back to the way it was a few months ago, I will feel renewed and with a new confidence about what mistakes I've made and I'll know not to make the same mistakes. Sometimes, as the Bible says, temptation can be very real and it can be very difficult to see that on the other side lies the pain which is the aftermath of giving into it. I think if something SEEMS like temptation, it probably is. Almost like smelling a gas leak or something, even if faint. I know what temptation is and I do believe it is a product of evil and God leaves it there hoping we will make him proud by being steadfast in our faith that if we don't give in to that short-term happiness, that God will be proud of this and reassure something greater. I know this is true and I know this is a lot to read but I really have never had the support of peers who hold Christian values the way I do and it seems I've been forever left "alone" in my faith. It's just me, usually, reading the Bible by myself and wishing I had more to fill my lonely Christian life. Sure, I have friends. But the things they seek in life are for themselves and not for Christ or God. What I seek is only to make me better in God's eyes and to enjoy the blessings I receive from God. I'm sorry this is so long but I'm the type who stays pent up and I just need to talk about it sometimes and in this type of comfortable company, I feel secure knowing you will not ridicule me. Thank you for being here; I am so happy I found this place. I thank God for this website; It may be my life saver all in itself. It is allowing me to start anew within myself and I know for sure this is what I need. Thank you again so much and for your prayers and I again appologize this is so long. God bless you.

- Michi

Hi! Thanks for all the nice things you said about the site. It's people like you and the others here that make it so good...the sweet fragrance of Christ.

I believe one of the reasons God doesn't remove temptation once we're in Jesus is because we would start thinking we don't need Him. My temptations keep me clinging to His feet, begging Him to keep me from being the person I could be and to make me the person He wants me to be.