Hi...

I am a 39 year old woman living in India. I have been here one year. I am engaged to an Indian man who is living up in the mountains and building us a home there. I really love it here in many ways, though it is also often very hard. There is no church and it is very hard to get around. So, "fellowship" is hard to (hence, I'm here).

I cannot believe that God can ONLY be found in the US...but I'm still not sure if this is where "I" should be...know what I mean?

LITTLE background: I have been in church nearly all my life - but a lot of it has been very bad. I was in a cult-like small church growing up for about 15 years. After that, I got into some much more healthy church environments...but because of my faulty upbringing/foundation, I married a man who was horrible to me. Thinking no one else would want me and I have no choice. So, after 5 years of mental and, towards the end, physical abuse...I left. I did a LOT of prayer and study before I left. I DO NOT believe that the ONLY reason you can leave a marriage is adultry. I also do not believe marriages are dispensible easily. I think there are FOUR reasons, in fact: Adultry, neglect, abandonment and abuse...all of which (if you take into account culture, context and era) are backed up Biblically. So, I left...but in so doing, I was thrown out by my so-called loving, healthy church. It's been very hard for me to motivate to go back...but I'm starting to find that motivation a bit more...I don't know what to do. Clearly, it's EASIER to live in the US and find a church there and...I am willing to break my engagement and go back IFFFFF I am convinced that's where God wants me...I'm not at the moment. Just want someone to talk to about it who will listen and not beat me with the Word...who can encourage me and handle my skepticism and questions...any takers?

Thanks!

H