I am asking for prayer for emotional problems stemming from abuse as a child. I read the introit advice on getting over small hours of abuse. I lived in terror and anger for 18 years of my life until I was free to leave. Much of what I experienced was even my own dramatic and self-hurting reaction. My father and mother beat me every day as a child and also my little brother. I am traumatized from trying to protect my little brother. Neither of us have developed mentally like we should have. My brother and I are both physically sick, my brother needing a liver transplant and I have chronic lyme disease. One day as a depressed teenager I prayed that I would get a disease so that my family would love me and treat me well. This was really stupid, and I think that it was a way for Satan to attack my body. I have had chronic lyme disease for 8 years, but this is not really a big deal compared to the emotional pain that I hide but feel when I come before God. I have so much anger pent up inside of me that it is like a ball in my stomach. One time I had a shiatsu massage and the spiritual guy said that there is nothing he can do for the "ball of emotions in my stomach." When I come before God, which I do very often, I ask for healing and express my deepest angers. I don't think my anger keeps me from God because I express it to him, but I am still so weak and vulnerable and shy because of the fact that even though I know that I have worth in Christ, I constantly feel unworthy to speak in my profession or to even have meaningful relationships. I don't believe that long-term traumatic child abuse is over by clicking "yes" I want to be healed. There must be some way of ridding myself of this long-term pain. I like the question, "what would I do if I didn't have these limits." I have no idea because my entire life has been about survival. When God asks me what I want to do all I can say is leave. I don't mean die, I mean that I want to be free of something that I don't even know. Only God really knows what exactly happened to me and why Ihave so much anger and pain. I ask God for freedom and it does not come. If you tell me that it is because I have lack of faith then I will not come back to this site. I have so much faith in God that I will do anything for God. My life is open for him except overseas travel is virtually impossible because of my lyme disease and adisson's disease. I have a ball of pain in my stomach and I have nightmares of holding a gun to my father and asking him why he beat me and yelled at me with hatred. When I was a child my mother would beat us daily for years and years. There are no 20 hours here and 15 hours there. Children who are abused and scared are scared all the time. Please pray that I will be healed. I am open to God healing me in any way.

Dear needhelpfromGod,

I am not a Doctor or Counselor . It sounds like you have many emotions going on at one time . The one main emotion I have discerned is Anger . You are angry and hurt because you have been sinned against with all of this abuse . The abuse and trauma that was inflicted upon you was wrong . I to was abused physicaly,mentaly,emotionly,sexualy .

I learned through the healing Grace of the LORD Jesus Christ to forgive the people that sinned against me in this fashion. Until you can forgive real healing will not take place . We must forgive despite what the other people do or not do . Then after you forgive you must move on with life and forget about the past . No longer Dwell on it . Eveytime you find yourself thinking about the past traumas you have suffered put theses thoughts out of your mind . satan will keep reminding you of the past telling you are no good ! satan is a liar and defeated foe . Remind satan of Revelation 20:10 every time he brings your past up. Remind this fallen and stripped angel of the future in the lake of fire and brimstone .

Also you might want to get in touch with a mental health professional for help on these traumas and hurts. Maybe they could recommend some anxiety medication or some other type of medication to help you work through this pain and turmoil you are going through.

Also look for a good Church to get involved in and let down some of the emotional barriers that you have formed . These are walls that been built up in your heart to keep people from further hurting you .

In Christs Love,
PRAYING FOR YOU .
Larry T.