Hi

this is the first time i have used this forum, and since everything here is anonymous, i think it might be a good chance to post a question that i have for a long time but never got chance to discuss with others. i am in early thirties, i am a christian, only because i had confessed, but i had yet to experience what it like to have a real relationship with God, like i have heard so many time in church. to put long story short, i have experienced depression related condition for a long time, that combined with social adjustment issues, means i never really lived a normal life and had the experiences or the skills many people my age should have. i been to church off and on, with mixed result, maybe it is because of my circumstances lead to a unique perspectve, but actually found it hard to deal with many fellow christians, even christians who know something about my background,
i had so many experiences of being "taught a lesson" by my fellow christians over small things such as unable to hold a conversation well, which i never realized was such an offensive thing. just yesterday, i went to a local church that i attended couple of times before, and i ran into one of the pastors there, and i was shocked by his rude and vindictive behaviours, we did have an misunderstanding four years ago, and i actually made attempt to clear it up yesterday, but he was unrelenting, i was left incrediblely angry, but most of all, the thing that got to me most was the mocking look in his eyes, almost like they were saying to me, " yeh you are just a 30 something loser with nothing" everytime this happens , i just keep praying to God somehow allow me to to pick my life together, so i wont have to put up with this kind treatment anymore. so far i feel God still hasnt listened to my prayers, and sometimes it sent chill down my spine when i wonder whether God is not going to help me out of this one for whatever reason, and i will have to accept of being treated like a third class citizens by people around me who simply decided to bully me. i just so tired of this never changing existance, sometimes i wish i could just stay home and not have to go out into the world and face people.

Peter,

I understand how your feeling, I was once a doormat to everyone around me. People in my family, my church, my job, and even my firends would use me and abuse my good heartedness, giving and forgiving ways. I prayed for what seemed and age of agony for god to help me, or give me, or do for me, until one day I caught myself in the middle of praying and figured out a very important lesson. a lesson that maybe you could use as a solution to whatever your going through.

I was stuck in this vicious circle, where I had to restart my life over and over again. I avoided church but kept my faith alive. When I did go to church, people rarely sat next to me or spoke to me other then what seemed like fake concern or mocking smiles and eyes. getting back to the lesson I learned, I finally realize that god gives us the tools to help ourselves, there is no magic wand that taps us on the shoulder and whisps away our problems. god was telling me that I need to surround myself with people that loved and respected me enough not to put me through these things. not to put myself in situtations where I could be used and abused by others. I was self-sabotoging my own life by expecting everyone else to be as loving and kind-hearted as I was, turns out that not everyone obey's the golden rule which is ( to treat others the way you would have them treat you).

you will imediately notice that the mocking smiles, or eyes are really concerning eyes and it is the bitterness that has left you because you feel so wronged by those you trusted the most, god gives us the choice to help ourselves, thats why we pray for his guidance, and wisdom. hopefully with that knowledge, our lives will not be lost in the darkness without true friends, honest people, love and acceptance from those that surround themselves with people like you.

I hope the lesson I learned can help you get through whatever situtation that has brought you to this point of confusion

Pickin Daisy's

Hi,

I would often feel immensely offended at negative comments and as a result would stop using my God given gifts. It was only when I acknowledged that it was for God's glory that we should strive and not our own, that was when it became easy for me to overlook such negativity, and continue on for God. Because, the word of God says, that God created us wonderfully and in perfection. And also we were chosen before the foundations of the world. So, who cares about people who look down upon us. God knows our hearts and He will judge righteously.

God will give the grace to forgive those who mock you. Just ask Him.

And something very important to remember. Our Lord Jesus was mocked and treated horribly by many. And Jesus did not have to go through with it, nor did He have to face all that undeserved punishments. but He did it for you and me. That we might not perish but have everlasting lives.

We are called to be His followers. Humble and forgiving. If we are humble, no amount of teasing or mocking will get to us.

so just trust in Him. and He will guide you.

God bless you.

Anne.