ok my name isnt realy Jimmy, but im 16 and im a homosexual and have been since i was twelve i have been fighting the enemy since i started going to church two years ago. now i find myself having sexual thoughts about little boys ranging from 10-19 i think i may becoming a pedophile and i dont want to i want to serve the Lord with all my heart please please help me. i hav enever slept with a man or woman or child but fantasies run through my mind onstantly and its brought me to a point of suicide i dont want to live like this anymore please please help me.

Hello Jimmy,

As a man that was trapped in that lifestyle for over 20 years let me tell you that it isn't worth the 'fun'...

I was raised in a Christian home and when I was around your age had these same thoughts and feelings.. I resisted until I was around 21 and then they got a hold on me like you wouldn't believe. The life I lived was one of pain and sorrow. I managed to get out and have been out for a few years now, but it was through the Grace of God that I didn't get sick, die or continue down that path.

It's a lonely life. It's a life that offers nothing much more than joy of 'sex' and that just isn't worth it.. to throw away a life for a few fleeing moments just isn't where you want to be.

I have thought about suicide many times myself and managed to make it without hurting myself. Please resist any thoughts like this. Please go to your Bible and study the Word when these thoughts seem to come up.. they are from the devil himself.

If you're in a church, stay in it.. if you're not, find one. Pray each day that God delivers you safely from this life before you have to walk that same road I did.. I will keep you in my prays as well that you be delivered in a God's hands.

I don't mean to 'advertise' a site, but I own a Christian site and will gladly be a mentor and help you through this with pray and discussion if you need it. You can find me at www.awalkinfaith.org One of my missions since coming from that life is to offer support and encouragement to anyone that is struggling with it as I did.. to try to help them out of that life before it's too late.

Stay strong in the Lord and pray often!

Jamie