Hi,
I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 5 years. I am a 39 year old woman, he is a 52 year old man. I didn't know he was an alcoholic at the beginning. As our relationship progressed, I noticed he had a drinking problem. He was a very functional alcoholic, treated me very well, loved my children, and I got along with his kids. As the years went on, he became more and more emotionally dependent on me. Controlling behaviours started, not in a mean way, but in a manipulative sneaky way I didn't realize until recently. Without going into a lot of detail, I loved and still love this man very much. He quit drinking 2 years ago, had one slip up, got caught right away for impaired driving and ended up getting arrested and losing his driver's license for 90 days. I drove him everywhere, it was all kept top secret. Nobody ever found out. In the last year he got me involved in something very bad. I can't say exactly what it is but let's just say I tried it once out of curiosity and found myself in a very deep addiction which took my health into a downward spiral. I told him 3 weeks ago that I was changing this behaviour and did very well. Then, knowing how hard I was working at getting better, he tried to get me to fall back into that old pattern. It was at that moment I was confronted with a huge temptation, almost more than I could say no to. Something stopped me and said "it's now or never". I broke off the relationship at that very moment, asked him to leave my house and had to threaten calling the police or an ambulance because he wouldn't go. Eventually, a friend of his picked him up and he left. This has been a week and a half. Since then, I haven't gone one day without numerous phone calls, emails, even 2 personal visits. It has torn my heart out to have to do this but I knew it was the right thing. He went to AA every day for 5 days last week and then got arrested for impaired driving again and now has lost his license again indefinitely. He is using his daughter to make me feel guilty as her and I grew very close over the past 5 years, she is now 13 years old. He has threatened to commit suicide. I am torn between extreme hurt and extreme guilt. I will not get back together with him for my own sake as well as my kids. How do I stop loving this man, release him, stop enabling him, stop feeling guilty, etc. Today he called and begged me to help him. I know I am not capable of providing the help he needs. What do I do?......Please pray for him, he is not a bad person, he is sick. Please pray for me to have the strength to stick to my guns and be strong. Will God touch him? Not for my sake but for his children's?.....thank you for listening, please pray for me. I am not religious, I am trying to believe as much as I can. Is there a God for sure?...I think so but still wonder..............I will pray for the people on here as well.