....to stand up for myself in the face of, not my enemies, but the people who say they love me. Help me see hidden words and manipulation within the saccharine attitudes of secret foes. Grant me peace and grace in the face of the fear within the people that are closest to me. Grant me your protection and love, Oh Lord.
I was not born able to participate in heavy social engagements. I have a hard time with social intrigue and, as such, often fall victim to it. I've cut many (hundreds?) of people out of my life for their maliciousness when it comes to interpersonal interaction. Gossip. Social ostracizing. Manipulation. You know, things people learn how to do from toxic family situations or from daytime soap operas.
What happens when you find out that these people you have left behind are no worse than those you keep closest to you? What happens when you realize that all of that intrigue and manipulation is far closer to you than you had imagined? What do you do when you realize that, for all intents and purposes, you are stuck in the middle of a roiling mass of fear, mistrust, and resentment?
What do I do? I pray. God grant me the strength to stand up for myself in the face of, not my enemies, but the people who say they love me.....