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brokeninside555
My name is private first class selden. I'm a soldier in the us army, but more importantly im a soldier in God's army. F What i'm posting about is my relationship with God. It hasn't been doing so well latley. I used to be strong in my relationship with God. I led bible studies, i mentored people, i prayed and i had a love for God and i was active in my relationship. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. But the past few years my relationship with God has backslidden. I got depressed an suicidal, and than i joined the US army, i havnt' felt suicidal or depressed in that way since i joined the army (i was having a rough home life and i was felt hopeless of getting out). Lately It's hard to pray and i really can't feel God there (ik as a christian i'm not to rely on feeling but on faith) but it's been such a long time since i've felt the presence of God in my life. Sometimes i wonder if He's even there for me anymore. I'm about to be deploying soon and i trust that I'l be safe in Him, and i honestly believe that and it calms my fears, but i used to enjoy a great relationship with God, and i honestly want to seek Him with all of me and grow in Him to be a strong mature christian able to help others, but i'm not sure what to do.
Anne05
Hi..

The word of God says that the only time when God does not listen to our prayers or we don't feel His presence is when sin separates us from Him. Our God is holy and so, we ought to try our best, relying on Holy Spirit, to remain holy.

However, the good news is that no matter how far you have fallen from His presence, it does not matter, if you are willing to come back to Him.

Satan uses circumstances in our lives to turn us against God. Don't fall for his attempts.

God is waiting for you, just like the father of the prodigal son was waiting for him. The word of God says that he ran with arms open wide to receive his lost son back. The father did not yell at him, or tell him about the blunders that he did. Instead he celebrated his homecoming.

Likewise, our Heavenly Father is waiting, with arms open wide.

Just talk to him, wherever you are, like you would talk to any other person. Tell him that you find it difficult to pray, or feel His presence.

He will meet with you and bless you.

Just trust in Him.

God bless you.

autumn
Dearest Struggling, I pray you are still checking your replies. I fondly term what you are speaking of as "when the wind stops blowing." In my own personal experience it's God's attempt to draw you closer than ever before by withholding His very essence. I have found myself in this particular situation and have had to pull myself up by my bootstraps and pursue Him harder. He says knock and I will open the door, seek Me and you will find me. God is without spot or wrinkle and must honor His word. Therefore I feel confident to promise you that by knocking and seeking with due diligence that you will find. After a very painful period such as you are describing, it became apparent that He wanted me dependant upon Him and takes pleasure when we (in the absence of the wind) pursue Him with all our strength. It's easy to pursue Him and be engaged with Him when we feel His presence so strongly but difficult when we cannot. This, I think, is the essence of faith. We cannot please Him without it, so it's natural that He would test us on it. At the end of the day, it serves to make us stonger. It's sort of like bootcamp-being pushed beyond your normal limits so in time of trial-you know you can do it. God tests us for our benefit-so we know what we can do. He already knows as He is the beginning and the end. It's really for our own edification. You have been exposed in the military-to people who push you and put you thru things to make you stronger at the end of the day... How much more does the Lord care for you? He's pushing you to push back closer to Him. True, sin can separate us and that which is not of faith is sin, but the Lord is SLOWWW to anger and does not keep it forever. His essence is love and everything He does is from love and He loves you. He knows you are strong and is placing you in a situation where you can demonstrate to yourself that you can pursue Him with all that you are even when the wind doesn't blow. I've been there... and my initial mistake was feeling like I had done something wrong or that He no longer wanted to speak to me. God loves us so much and knows we are growing. Withholding himself sometimes is an excercise for your own edification-He wants you CLOSE!!!! He's waiting for you to pull yourself up and get Him!! His arms are open and He's calling you. And he know's you can do it, he's just waiting for you to find out for yourself that you can!!!! I know it's painful and I think everyone has experienced it. In my experience everything He does, he tries to show me something. Sometimes, I'm a slow learner. smile.gif But now, when I'm going thru something, I look for what He's trying to show me and sometimes it moves me quicker to His objective. (Sometimes..!) God Bless you and I'll keep you in my prayers. Go pull on those bootstraps!!!! He's waiting on you. smile.gif In Christ, Autumn
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