Now, I have done it again. I met someone, a good guy. He put up with my wild moods for about a year and finally he would not anymore. I know it is because of my insecurities and he even pointed it out again. He's done with me, but I cannot be done with myself. I have a good job and a family that loves me. I am a lot of things, but what I had lost is trying to connect and know that God is the only one that can help me really heal and that I need to be around other people that believe as well. I am reading a great Christain book about this. I have started to go back to church. I am also trying to reach out to a community where I have let myself be an outsider to since I moved where I live now (wow, 5 years ago). My son has only remembered being here (he's 6), and I must make it work. I need to do what the Lord tells me and even though I am not even close to being perfect, the only one who is, is God. So when I can try and stop being so insecure, maybe I can have a healthier relationship. I do feel bad for the gentleman that put up with me for so long, but it is better to have said goodbye. Now for the healing, I will pray this for probably the rest of the day and repeat it again each day. This quote, I found online today: Oswald Chambers-"No love of the natural heart has been safe unless the human heart has been satified by God first." So true. So I'll keep reading and praying; and now that I know, I am not the only one, but I do have to build my relationship with God before anyone healthy can be a part of mine in that way again. Thank you for reading!

I think you are definitely on the right track.

Pro 3:5 Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
Pro 3:6 In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
Pro 3:7 Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn [entirely] away from evil. [Prov. 8:13.]
Pro 3:8 It shall be health to your nerves and sinews, and marrow and moistening to your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8 Amp

God bless you!