Hi,

I'll try to keep this brief. I have never ever been on an online forum before and it feels a bit odd but I really am at the end of my rope and sadly nobody in my life understands. I am being what I can only be described as bullied by someone that is at my church. its been going on since I was 11 and I am now 23 and a junior doctor and yet I get upset to the point of being sick by one individual in my church. It is so so hard to put into words the actions of this girl who is the same age as me and we have a warped almost friendship where we are facebook friends and spend time together yet she consistently undermines me, tries to catch me out, spreads rumours and is so passively agressive towards me. her family play a huge role in our church and although i have just entered into some church leadership i am scared to be involved in anything because i know she will rip me to shreds in private. I know this sounds so easy: ignore her! Confront her! But for some reason after 12 years she has backed me into a corner where I actually sounds crazy and paranoid if i say anything. My own family just tell me to simply ignore her and this really upsets me. I keep over reacting to what is in comparison very small things but i cannot help it. Eughh im even having trouble putting it into words on here how much this girl scares me and it makes me sick to even go on facebook as i know there will be another nasty update written about me but without mentioning my actual name! ahh im meant to be a qualified doctor and I am sounding crazy!!! can someone please give me some advice :s

I am truly sorry to hear this especially for the fact it is happening within the church, the body of Christ where love is supposed to be paramount in our lives as believers.

Beloved, one thing I am being led to tell you at this moment is to pray and then confront her. I can see its really affecting you mentally, psychologically etc. Its gone on for too long. Ignoring her definitely isn't easy and not the answer when it appears to be impacting your live in a negative way.

But I believe at some point, she has to be spoken to about this.. but before you or any does confront her, you need to pray and seek the face of the Lord. Let Him guide your every step in this situation. If you have to fast do it because this issue has become a stronghold in your life.

Report her to God because she is His daughter, just like if you have a sibling behaving badly, you will report him/her to Dad or Mum. Same thing.
but in this case, He is our heavenly Father, tell the Lord to take absolute control over this situation, have His Holy Spirit convict her of behavior towards you and cause her to turn from her wicked ways. It is only the Spirit of God that has the power to bring about change.. No one change her but Him.

After you pour our your heart to the Lord concerning this issue, then wait and see what He is going to do.. If you feel in your spirit, He is leading you to confront her, then go ahead and ask God for the wisdom and the right words to say when you do speak with her.


Another additional thing you can do, is speak with your pastor about the issue and get his /her advice, Youth Pastor, Lead Pastor or Church Counselor whomever is available or you feel comfortable speaking with.


Remember Timothy 1:7 (KJV) ~ For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind

The Lord will strengthen and empower you as you do this. There is nothing impossible with Him, The Lord is in control..... just trust Him for the change.

God bless you beloved.

Shalom,
daughterofzion4Christ

Stop associating wither her! Remove her from your circle! Greet her in the hall, but keep on walking. Say nothing beyond empty pleasantries to her, and nothing more than a few words at a time. Don't confront her. Don't try to say anything to her. If she wants to spend time with you, find a reason to be too busy to do it.

Accept her for who she is or distance yourself from her.

Sorry about your ordeal. As you are maturing, and understand that this person is a blight in your life, who is demeaning you for her own pleasure, you will realize that you as an adult have to make important choices. You will not be able to change this person, but continue to pray for her. Do not stoop to haiting her, you are better than that. I think you should not at all be hesitant nor afraid to set limits and boundaries as to who you will allow into your life. Learn the lesson here, this person is a closed book; you will gain nothing but trouble by trying to confront or change her. Carefully, firmly and consistently disengage this person out of your life. This person's opinions of you, should not be allowed to rule your life. You are at an important portion of your life in establishing yourself- go on about the business of serving God, not just in your local church. You might even find it helpful to join a different group. Stop reading or taking in her negatives. God bless you, and I will be praying for good Christian friends in your life that you will bless and be blessed of the same.