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lovesavannah
My husband and I are both Christians but do not belong to a church at this time. He recently met a woman at his job and she called him a few times, he got her number to drop off something she bought at an auction. No big deal, well then he tells me she keeps texting questions and I asked him what kind of questions and he said stuff in general, auctions etc... After about a week of these texts I noticed him taking his phone into the bathroom with him and saying he has to get something in the garage and comes back 15 min later. I again asked him whats going on and he would tell me he's texting his kids or a guy friends. This behaviour kept up and I then looked on the phone to find out what was going on and dicovered this womans number several times a day both phone calls and texting. That same weekend we went away together because he works so much and I am home alone and she texted him 6 time on saturday and 23 times on Sunday and he text back. I asked him what was going on and he said he is helping her come to Jesus, she believes in a higher power but not God but yet she has postings using Jesus's name on her FB page??. Now I overheard a voicemail from her and she called him sweetie and asked if he planned on meeting her or talking to her after work. I am opposed to opposite sex friendships in marriage. I am not opposed to helping others because thats what God wants but the time he is spending with her either in person, text or call anywhere from 2-6 hrs a day and now she is showing up a t every auction he has which is every weekend! He is also telling her that I am not comfortable with this and I'm paranoid, Im jealous, etc..... He tells her about all the fights we've been having about this because I am not comfortable with any of it and he refuses to end it. No she is making rude and gossipy comments on her Facebook page about me not caring about her or my husband.She is also married and told my husband she was only married on paper. I am now seeing a Dr. for anxiety, trying to stay in my Bible but the pain and feeling of his just not caring how I fell is taking over. Please any advice and/or feelings on these typs of friendships within the christian marriage?
onesmallchristian
Obviously this is a time of great spiritual trial for you. Although it is difficult when you feel hurt and alone, try to remember that God loves you and cares for you more than you can possibly imagine.

You say that you are not currently in church. Perhaps you could ask God for guidance on this as being in fellowship and being supported by the prayers of others is often vital in supporting you in times of need.

While I am not necessarily opposed to opposite sex relationships I am not convinced of the wisdom of a male counselling a female in becoming a Christian as we should be openly seen to be above reproach in our service. In most counselling situations it would seem advisable to have a member of the same sex present. From what you say whether this woman is in Christ or not she would seem to be experiencing marital/relationship difficulties and so this approach to counselling is especially true. However if you are experiencing arguments over the current situation you need to prayerfully consider how this could be conveyed to your husband. In fact I suggest that you pray for him that his eyes might be opened to the dangers of this situation rather than simply get into a potentially destructive discussion over it.

If your husband is genuinely concerned about the woman's spiritual welfare could you and he pray together for her? Sharing together before God exposes our own hearts to His truth and light and allows Him to lead us into a deeper relationship with Him.

Again, I repeat, the love that God has for you, no matter how low or unworthy you are feeling, is beyond your imagination. He cares deeply for you even if you do not feel it at the moment - You are not alone!

I am aware that I have only limited insight into your situation and you should test everything that I have said to see if it be from God!

If it of any comfort to you I will continue to pray for you and your family.
simpleman2112
The amount of texts and the direction this seems to be headed suggests more than just counseling. At the very least Id say your husband is being disrespectful and if this woman is serious about finding God she would be looking in a different direction. My advice would be for you and your husband to both steer this woman towards the help she needs and distance yourselves on a personal basis. Not many women would put up with this and very few opposite sex relationships can be this personal and not lead to something. I say this as a married man who has seen this before. Id also suggest stepping away from the facebook thing and praying with your husband about this. Hope this helps!
trust in God
simpleman
IamKoala
I totally agree with the above comments. PRAYER is definitely needed here...which I'm sure you have been doing. Your husband is disrespecting you and needs to know this. He knows you are not comfortable with the woman and their relationship. Your husband needs to let this woman go and trust that God will help her in 'HIS' way. I was in the same situation with my ex-husband. He would talk on the phone with a woman for hours at a time...sometimes late at night. I could hear their conversations, so i know it wasn't really anything going on, but I knew that over time...it would grow into something else. I shared with my husband that I was not comfortable with this and how it was, also, sending the wrong message to the woman that it's ok for a husband to act this way when he has a wife. He didn't like what I had to say and brushed me off. I went to him AGAIN and shared my being uncomfortable...still nothing. I eventually went to a good friend of his at our church and told him what was going on and he agreed that he needed to stop. My ex listened to his friend and toned it down. I say all this to say that sometimes we have to get others involved when nothing else is working. You mentioned that your husband tells this woman that you are jealous, shares your intimate 'marital' arguments....etc..... he should NOT be saying any of this to this woman, let alone disregarding your feelings on the matter. This is nothing but the devil trying to get to you working through your husband. Pray for him, pray for yourself that you don't get wrapped up and caught in this 'trap' that the devil is trying to lure you into. You need to hold onto your God and spirituality. Even pray for this woman...because it is obvious that satan is using her, as well, to get you off spiritual focus.

I will pray for you and your situation. I know God will see you through this!
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