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Liza
Hi all. I am just asking for some prayers to heal my marriage. My husband has lost complete interest in me and my little boy and I don't think he loves me anymore. He is not himself and he is mean to me and ignores me and doesn't even acknowledge me day to day. He simply just does not care for me and I don't know why. It has only been for about 2 weeks or so and he won't talk about it or tell me what is going on. I love my husband so much and so does our son. Please pray for healing because I am feeling it get worse and worse and no better. In Him, Liza
Steve
Hi Liza,
I'm sorry to hear that you and your husband are having these difficulties. Has a time like this happened before, where he's angry or upset for a week or so? Stress can take its toll on a marriage and it can really break down communication between a husband and a wife. Could he be having trouble at work or with his family/friends, etc.?

We men are often very prideful and we don't like to come out and express our feelings. To men, it's a sign of weakness and we don't like to show weakness in front of those we love. It could be something that he's ashamed of or perhaps he thinks you won't understand his problem. We men can be throwbacks to primitive times, like the old cavemen who would brood in their caves. We won't come out and talk until we're ready to deal with a problem. This can go on for days and weeks (yeah, we're stubborn). Women tend to talk openly about problems, whether it's with a sister or close friends. You ladies love to share and works things out -- or resolve things relatively quickly.

My wife and I are good examples of this. When we have a conflict, I usually storm out of the room and go into "brooding mode" until I cool down and think rationally. My wife on the other hand, likes to sit down and resolve things right then and there (and she'll often follow me around to finish her point). She can't go to bed mad, where as I can stay mad for a couple of days. Now if she approaches me when I'm still mad, I won't listen to her at all. As a matter of fact, we men will usually do the opposite of what the wife wants...just for spite. We should all be forced to watch ourselves argue on a big T.V. It would probably be embarrassing for both parties. rolleyes.gif

As a couple, we've compromised a bit and tried to work on our communication. She agreed not to press issues and allow me some time to cool off. I've agreed not to blow my cool and storm out, plus I'll come back and resolve things a bit quicker. We give each other time to talk, without the other spouse interrupting. So each of us gets to have our say and make our points.

Something must really be bothering your husband for this to go on for weeks at a time. Does he respond in the same way to other people that he cares about? He could have some deep emotional issues and you're the closest person to lash out at. We often hurt the ones we love when we're angry, even when we don't mean to. Maybe you can try to talk with him alone when your son is not around (away with family or friends). Give yourselves some private time to really talk and ask him what's going on and tell him how you feel. Maybe he'll open up.

I'll be praying for you both.
Liza
Thanks so much, Steve. It is good to hear from someone. I have felt so lost and lonely. My husband has agreed to go to counseling with me and we are going to church tomorrow. We even got a babysitter for tonight and are going out. It just all feels so fake and foreign to me. I thought we would be going out alone and he asked some friends of ours to go out with us. Anyway, thanks for the kind words and prayers and I will pray for you as well. In Him, Liza
Glen
We'll be praying, Liza. Counseling would be good. Sometimes, marriages go through seasons. Be patient with him and try to learn by observation if he doesn't feel he can tell you what's bothering him or if he can't put his finger on THE thing.
Doc
I will keep you in my prayers. He must be hurting inside pretty bad. Let him know that you love him and you're there when he needs someone to talk to. Going to counseling and church are good things. Keep him going. Keep him encouraged. You may feel like he's lost interest and is falling out of love, but we may tend to think the worst when we hurt. He may just be having some trouble that he needs to work out, then he'll come around. Church and counseling will help determine that. God brought the two of you together for a reason. God loves you both and wants you to be happy. God also wants to be the center of your lives (both of you). If your husband won't participate, make God the center of your and your son's life. Show your husband that there is joy and love and life in Christ. He will see it and come back to you. This will pass and you will all grow stronger through it. Life is going to have many trials that the two of you will have to go through. Love him, be patient with him, and help him any way he needs. Someday, your going to go through something and need him to do the same for you. That is what marriage is all about. Love.
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