Et All:
A little background may be appropriate. I am 64 years old and have never been seriously ill in my entire life. I took a few aspirin from time to time, had the flu and as I remember, stayed a couple days in the hospital for strep throat while in the armed services. All other doctor visits were for minimal health issues.
I have abused my health over the past few years by excessive drinking, smoking over eating, and neglect of my teeth and other health issues. This is very difficult for me to admit because, as is the case with many males, I was the tough guy and indestructible. I am retired now but tried to use my job and the nature of it to explain away my actions. I used to think because it was a very high stressed job it should give me the right to do whatever I wanted to do any time I wanted. I felt by over indulging with food drink and smoking I could better cope with my job situation, at least that is what I continued to tell myself. Boy was I wrong!
The wheels came off my life last year and even though it should not have been a surprise, it was, because so much went haywire.
I prayed a lot last year and asked my Lord to watch over my wife and me and show me a positive direction in my life. I was so miserable that I experienced severe anxiety and a sense of hopelessness practically all the time.
I had a serious drinking problem and did not know what I was going to do about it. One day I was on the Web and decided to look at several sites relating to the physical effects of drinking and the outcomes one might expect if a long-term drinking problem went unchecked.
I looked at several sites that outlined the negative side of alcohol abuse and said to myself, "my God, I am killing myself, as sure as if I put a gun to my head.” The health problems were enormous and the outcomes devastating. I decided right then I was going to quit drinking. This was December 7, 2006 and Pear Harbor Day.
I had not been to a doctor in years but found one close by and decided to get a check up. Everything seemed to go downhill from there. He, however, is an excellent doctor. I discussed the drinking problem with him and he agreed that I should quit immediately. After hearing how much I consumed on a daily basis, he felt I was an alcoholic. He also suggested that I have several tests to evaluate my current health condition.
I have gone to test after test and doctor after doctor with some unfortunate outcomes. I am currently on a lot of medicine for heart, colon and anxiety issues. This, as one could surmise a much longer story but too long for this forum.
What is not healthy is the fact that I continue to dwell on the coulda, shoulda, maybe, until it has put me in a very negative frame of mind, which I believe is manifesting itself as other health issues that are unrelated to the ones that have been discovered so far.
To date I have lost 45 pounds, have not had a drop of anything to drink and have changed my entire life style as it pertains to eating. I stopped smoking a couple years ago. It now seems I have a new set of problems to cope with. I wish I had discovered this life style 30 years ago.
I continue to pray hard every day for a way to get my teeth fixed and improve my health. God did answer my prayers when he helped me stop drinking cold turkey. He provided me with a caring doctor and he made it possible for me to gain admittance to the hospital, which eventually uncovered other serious health issues. This process has taken a great deal of time and cost a lot of money not even taking into account all the worry and mental anguish I have experienced.
I know all of us have to get old sometime but I thought I would not have to face my immortality so soon. I just was not equipped mentally to handle it.
I really need your prayers to get through this and start having a real life. I am exhausting my retirement funds and need dental care which may be causing other health issues but do not have the funds to pay for it. It is also critical that I become a better husband. I have put my wife through a lot of turmoil and strife because I do not seem to be able to control my emotions.
I know God loves me and that Jesus paid the ultimate price to pay for my sins. I should not feel the least bit miserable because my situation is a mere drop in the bucket to what Jesus had to face on the cross. However, it still is extremely difficult to cope and that is why I need your prayers and good thoughts.
I would be more than happy to share more of my quest for improvement over the past 3 months if anyone is interested. There is no sense in re-inventing the wheel. I have found some positive ways to change my life style, to loose weight and start to cope with the rest of my life. Sharing ideas makes us all strong. Since I do not have many of the answers, anyone reading this may want to contact me at frstclas1@yahoo.com and make some other suggestions. If I can't tell you anything else I can tell you what not to do.
M Chisholm