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Aktor1
I am going through a horrible divorce that will be final on October 24. We both did things that were horrible. Things we should not have done. Both of us had been miserable for 8 of the last 13 years we were married. I have asked her to forgive me, but she refuses to accept my apology nor accepts or believes that she has done anything wrong.
I have not liked the life I have lived for the past 20 years. I just know things have to change. I need your help and support to live life the way God wants me to live. Please, give me your prayers and support.
Thank You
Rick
malone628
I will pray for you Rick just as I pray for myself everyday. Also going through a divorce and struggling and with a wife that cannot admit adultery as any wrongdoing. I have admitted faults, none to that extreme and asked for forgiveness but she continues her ways against Gods will. Everyday is a struggle for me just as it appears to be for you. God willing we will both somehow get through this.
Glen
Hi Rick! You have our prayers and support. It seems, as bad as it is, you're facing what must be changed. Realizing there is nothing you can do to change the past is a very positive thing. It appears you're ready to use this grief as a vehicle to improve the things you don't like about yourself. That is very powerful! She will have to come to that point for herself. Don't expect her forgiveness or understanding in any way...it will just hold you back. Focus on making yourself the person you need to be.
Let me also recommend no serious relationships for at least 2-3 years, while you get to know who you are without a woman's influence. That way, when you finally do start a new relationship, it will be based on the new, real you, not one rebounding from a failed relationship. Grief is normal at this time. Using it to improve yourself is very encouraging.
janiep
God Bless you Rick. my name is jane and I just went through a divorce almost 3 years ago after 18 years of marriage; I too found myself not happy for many years and I knew after 13 years into the marriage we (I) was not living under Gods will are his plans for a joyful life. my ex-husband is a alcoholic and we have 3 grown teenage sons. I made a change in my self with and only with the strenghth and help of our Lord. 7 years ago I surrendered to God in my room laying on my bed soak in tears and fulled with so much fear; then I started to read my bible; I was so confused and lost, but pressed through it; it took (don't laugh) almost 3 years to get through it, but in that time God started a work in me, I started to notice little things, like I hated cursing and hearing it so I stopped, now I couldn't stop my husband from his ways, but after 5 years of reading and studying my bible I joined a bible study group and met people with this some interest and with this church and Gods help my eyes opened to the truth and I pulled myself and my boys out of our hell pit and now there's just us and God and peace and harmory. it has been the hardest, toughest road I have ever been on and now when I look back I can say, Praise be to God for taken me on this road. Rick what I'm trying to say is sometimes the hardest things we have to go through in this life is just what we need to find ourself with God and to understand our journey is and always has been with God. the enemy puts in the fear factor when he knows, thats the one thing that will stop us from being all that God wants us to be. keep praying and blessing your wife to God, but you keep pressing on to the glory of the Lord. and if it's what God wants then the rest will fall in to place with her, but if it's without her then remerber God has something always much better a waiting for those you love and seek him; he will not forsake you. God Bless You. Jane
renee
Hi Aktor1... This is my first time on this site... I have visited a few web sites on grief from a divorce and prayers of serenity that have comforted me during this past year and a half... My marriage of 26 years ended in a divorce December 20. 2005. My husband had left in March of 2005 as soon as my doctor gave me the great news that my cancer was in remission. I came home a few weeks later from a doctor's appointment to find all of his clothes gone. I was devasted. I was left to raise a 18 year old son and soon to be 17 year old daughter and i was trying to recover from a year of chemo for Non-hodgkins lymphoma... I literally wanted to die at that point... I had fought so hard and basically in silence because i felt i had to be strong for everyone around me. And now he was gone... No it had not been a perfect marriage for the last 10 years, financial hardships, raising kids and my husbands job was very demanding even thou he loves it.. It was our choice for me to be a stay home mom.. Then i find myself, alone, scared, and devasted by the shock of him leaving... Everytime i think i'm making progress to overcome this grief, it starts all over again. I can see something that triggers a happy memory and all the hurt comes back. Over the past year and a half, my ex has succeeded in turning my son against me. I secured all his college scholarship money and grants, and he still wont answer my phone calls... My heart literally aches to hear my son's voice on the phone and all i get is his voice mail. My psychologist says, dig your heels in, dont back up, dont beg, he (my son) will come around when he actually see how much you love him and what you've done for him. So long story short, I not only lost my husband, i've lost my son too... My daughter, Micah, is a senior and will be gone to college in less than a year now and I will be totally alone.. Please pray I find Peace.... Thats all i want... You will be in my prayers and i'm going to continue reading posts tonight so ya'lls discussions will be more familiar to me...
Prayers and hugs,
Renee
Glen
Hi Renee! I just wanted to tell you I think your counselor is right about your son. Also, it may have nothing to do with your Ex. It's often normal for a child to want to distance himself from his family as soon as he gets a chance, especially if the recent years were painful. It's very likely he will come around.
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