Hi,
I'm new here..I have been a strong Christian for a few years now, but lately I have strayed away from God, not in a big outward way but I can tell I don't have the same close relationship with him as I used to:) I have always had issues with loving myself, some of it stems from being molested when I was a child and also when I was older...and now since I am older I have more problems that has brought my low self esteem back out..I have been depressed lately because the house I have been living in for about 7 years, needs remodeling and the kitchen is just falling apart, and it's still not finished (my husband procrastinates) the disorganization makes me feel horrible..anyway, along with that I don't have any friends really that I hang out with and that makes the depression worse not having anyone to talk to. Ever since I can remember I have had problems with eating disorders, when I was younger I was anorexic for many years, then I had issues with compulsive overeating,then back to anorexia, and now the compulsive overeating has come back to haunt me again..I need prayer because I feel so horrible when I overeat, it makes me so sad and to deal with all of the other issues on top it makes it so much harder..what drives me crazy is that I help everyone else with their problems and even help them on their diets but I can't even help myself..I have alot of self hate..I just want to learn to love myself..I know God can help me from this:) Thanx for listening:)

Dear Melinda,

This is a great website for just about any problem or concern. I will be praying for you to be "strengthened with His might in the inner man" and that you are able to get the help you need to start loving yourself and helping yourself before you try to help others. I know what you mean by feeling terrible after you overeat. That's kind of the way extreme habits work and the enemy uses the guilt you feel afterwards to kick you when you're down and tries to keep you there. But, there is good news! We have an Almighty and merciful God and, as a Christian, you have the authority to tell the devil where to go. Christ didn't condemn the woman caught in adultery, even though she had been caught "red-handed". You are right; God can help you to love yourself. Remember, He loved you enough to send His Son to die for you. Jesus took on all your pain and infirmities in His own body. I was just reading Psalm 118 today and several times it says, "In the name of the Lord, I cut them off." Melinda, in the name of the Lord, cut off all the things you talked about in your introductory message that you've tried to deal with over the years. Enlist the help of godly professionals and counselors who will give you good solid teaching from God's Word and commit everything to Him. Let us know how you're doing and may God bless.

Loving Him,
><Linda>

Blessed Melinda,

I pray that you will com to love yourself through developing a stronger relationship with your Father in Heaven through our brother, Jesus Christ. I pray that your loneliness fades away as a result of you finding a church home that has small groups to add to your fellowship. I pray that you come to find the purpose of your life, Melinda. God has you here for a reason When we find out God's purpose for us, there is no need for self-hate because you will ultimately know and understand completely that you are a jewel. That you are a child of God. That our Heavenly Father DOES NOT MAKE JUNK.

I also pray that you find professional Christian counseling to go to for your molestation history, eating disorder and depression. They charge on a very fair sliding scale. You can google Christian therapist or counseling + your city and find professional Christian therapists right near you! Keep a journal while yuo do this and record your efforts and your feelings. Talk to God like he is right there in the room. He is not just there to give us stuff, he wants you to share with him. Give him your burdens.

I also HIGHLY recommend reading "The Purpose Driven Life" from Rick Warren, Pastor of Saddleback Church. Reading it with your husband will do wonders for you two as a couple also. This book took the old me, a proud and lofty converted Jew who was a former Christian, and brought me into the light of TRUE redemption and into the arms of my savior, Jesus Christ. I now know what the Lord wants from me and it is my life goal to do it.

Know, too that no church is perfect, so dont go with the excuse of, "such and such is wrong with this church.: or "I don't need to go to church to be a good Christian." Ahhh, then we will always be lonely and showing that we have no need to live as part of the body of Christ. If you already go to a church and they are not giving true fellowship, then pray to find another church home that does.

Finally, I would like to suggest, sister, why don't you and your husband work TOGETHER on the kitchen? If he seems lazy about it, then you go out there, start on something with a repair book you purchase. Then see if he will feel like a lazybones and come and help you out? You can start making the plans for what you want to be done. Turn off the tv and start talking to eachother more...let the love flow ...Praise God!

Get ready for the blessings!

-Your sister in Christ (survivor of child molestation, physical and verbal abuse, neglect, former overeater, manic depressive, motherless daughter))

Amen to everything the others have said. Melinda, if you focus on one thing...getting nearer to God, He will draw nearer to you, and let you know when you're ready to focus on the next thing. He will help you every step of the way, because it's Him in you that's helping others. Let Him take you one step at a time. You can find help for the disorders you mentioned at www.way2hope.org and www.e-health-fitness.com, both are our sites, so we've tried to keep out the junk and false cures.

I have felt some disdain with MYself lately so you're not alone! I feel I've been in a darkened time lately in my life and some days, I feel so horrible and wonder if it will end! I feel guilty and confused about some things I've done. I am really seeking assurance from God and probably what I don't realize is that God is not like a fast-food joint where you get your food in 30 seconds. I think you and I should pray but be patient and I think God will eventually show us a greater will. If you're depressed, make sure not to sit around the house all day, everyday. It's better to get out, even if just to the store for something you don't need. Also, at church or the library or local coffeehouse might be a good place to meet some people. I know coffeehouses around here have music and such on weekends and the crouds there are usually nice folks just hanging out. God bless and may you have good fortune from here and the sky is the limit!

- Michi