Hi,

I became a Christian and committed my life to Christ in February of 2007. So, nearly two years ago. Prior to that point, I had been actively involved in the homosexual lifestyle and accepted it as a normal and healthy part of my life. I now know the error of my ways and confess homosexual action as sinful and offensive to God. For nearly two years, I have fought homosexuality and the temptation that comes with it.

I was kicked out of my previous college this past October, when the Dean of Students discovered that I had struggled with homosexuality. It was a Baptist college and not very accepting. Obviously if I had been engaging in homosexual activities, I could see why they would want to send me away--But I haven't done anything like that in over a year.

Anyway, because of what happened at my last school, I transferred to Oklahoma Panhandle State University. I just moved into the dorm yesterday and I already feel as if there will be some serious problems here. This is what I'm dealing with right now and what I need guidance on: This is the most conservative part of Oklahoma, the college is in a town of less than 1,000 people and three hours from the nearest large city. I know absolutely no one here, except for my roommate who I only met yesterday. My roommate is a rodeo guy from Texas who is also on the baseball team. And on top of that, I have been tempted over and over again in the past two days to lust over my roommate. I've resisted that temptation, and I obviously have no intention of trying to do anything to/with him in a sexual way...

But I don't know how to handle it. My roommates at my last college were both very strong Christians who knew and understood my problem, at least in some way, and they always acted toward me in Christian love and support. But my new roommate is, from his own admission, a racist and homophobic redneck who would kill a guy for hitting on him. I haven't told him about my problem and I've tried to blend in as much as possible by acting more like him and trying to be as agreeable to him as I can. But I'm honestly very afraid that if anyone at this college finds out that I have this problem, I'll get hurt or even worse because of it. To a lot of people, it doesn't matter whether I live that lifestyle now or not--All they care about is that it's an issue in my head and there are people here who truly would hurt me so bad because of it that I'd end up in the hospital.

Again, what's bothering me is just the fact that I'm struggling with this stuff and I really don't have anyone here I can talk to about it and I'm not sure how to handle things with my roommate. I have no concerns that I will act on the temptations, that's something I know I won't do. I just don't know how to handle the situation.

What should I do? I feel like my roommate deserves to know, even though he'll probably react very badly to it. I could ask for a single room but I don't have the extra money to pay for one and being alone like that just tends to make me depressed.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Dear OPSUBoy2010, My heart does go out to you because I cannot imagine what you are passing through right now. However, I do commend you for fighting/resisting the temptation of going back into the homosexual lifestyle for over a year now. Eventhough you have done this, it appears to be by your own strength and not by the power of the Holy Spirit and that is why its been very difficult for you to overcome it.

I, Personally can only lift you up in prayers to the Lord to deliver and set you free completely from this strongman/spirit, the Lord does the healing/deliverance through the help of biblical counselors/Pastors and so I do encourage you strongly to seek spiritual counseling in a good local bible church in your new area because you cannot do this alone. I know you want to be discreet because of what happened in your last college so you need not worry about that since any form of counseling or professional help is highly confidential. Try going through the local pages or directory to find a good church and let the Lord lead you to the right assembly.

In the meantime, I would love to refer you to my Pastor.. Pastor Tom Brown at the Word of Life Church in El Paso, TX. He is very familiar with this issue and has preached power sermons on it within the last 3 months. He receives phone calls and emails from around the world on this subject often.

Please contact him if you are comfortable enough to do so website url: www.tbm.org 915-855-9673, 855-0962. I do not have his email address but feel free to visit the website and find out more info about him and the ministry.

Beloved, I want you to know that with God all things are possible. Like any other sin, you can fight homosexuality, and be victorious and free to live the life that God has ordained for you to live only by his power. I wish you the best..

Hang in there, your deliverance is on the way.

Shalom!

Dear OPSUBoy2010,

First things first, remember that your father is in complete control and has you in the palm of His mighty hand. Trust in Him. Take it to Him, even if that means praying several times a day. Two: What Taykems said is exactly what I was discerning as well. It sounds as though you have been trying to fight this with your own strength. Perhaps God is ALLOWING this situation, my dear brother, in your life to draw you even closer to Him. He wants all of you. Third: Do not cast your pearl before the swine. Your roommate is not a born again Christian. He is not bound to the same laws and principles as we are. He isn't called to be patient, kind, understanding, longsuffering...etc. I had to learn the hard way that just because we discover a truth about ourselves, doesn't mean we have to tell everyone. You must be discerning.

My advice to you is the same I give myself when I'm struggling with a deeply rooted lie: Go to the word. Pray. Your roommate does not need to know what you are struggling with, it would serve no good purpose.

Find a strong Christian support group and if your area is too limited in population, continue to get online support, but most importantly lean and depend on the Holy Spirit and God's grace, which is sufficient. I'm very frustrated with your "Christ ian college that kicked you out. I'm very sorry. Remember that you are a new creature, put down the guilt and shame, and accept your new identity in Christ. Don't give power to the thoughts that enter your mind that try to exalt themselves above God's word. You are not your thoughts. They don't control you. You can crush them with the truth every time they attack you. Next, you must try to find a church. You must trust someone who you can be accountable to.

Remember that you do have brothers and sisters who genuinely love you, and Christ who already experienced temptation and conquered it.

I would recommend getting a room by yourself, or at the VERY least get a roommate you feel more comfortable with. It's obvious this guy would not be accepting, and would want a new roommate id he knew about your sexuality. Also- you don't owe him an explanation. Your struggles are your own business, not a strangers. Especially a stranger who won't accept you.

That's horrible that a Christian school kicked you out! I went to a Christian college, and there were a few gay people, and it wasn't an issue. I'm sure they probably had a hard time from a select few, but the school wouldn't kick them out based on sexual preference. Also- I would remind people that the school has you sign a "Lifestyle Agreement" that excludes ALL sexual activity, heterosexual or homosexual. It's an agreement that yo have to sign willingly.

One last question- why do you choose extremely conservative universities that don't accept people of different backgrounds?