I say this from the other side of the problem. I too have struggled with this addiction (still do). I was exposed to pornography at a very early age..... Not to make an excuse, but simply to outline that a foundation was laid that has made it an even more difficult of stronghold to tear down. I'm not bad... I'm not evil.... I truly seek God and have been saved for many years now. I had no trouble giving up smoking, drinking, drugs, lying and even cursing. Pornography however, again was introduced to me as a child and the enemy has had me in that trap for so many years, it's just a day by day walk with God, trusting, struggling, praying.... I value my wife's determination to stand by me and hold me accountable. Now and again, she'll ask me if I have "slipped" and as I do slip still now and again... I then struggle on lying about it. The important thing I have to remember and I hope that you would remember too, is that it is a bonafide addiction. The "release" that you get is ultimately a chemical one. Endorphins are released to the brain that are as addicitive as any drug I know. I would suggest that if you haven't already, do some research on this, just so you can be as educated as possible about your husband's struggle. The lying, mood swings, etc., are not towards you. It is a struggle with the flesh that is composed of many things, including shame and guilt.
My wife did not take it well when I confessed to her and I don't blame her. I had a very hard time convincing her how much I truly loved her and this was not at all against her in any way. I realize by God's word that this in fact was a form of adultery and that made me even more shameful and guilty. We all have a sense of pride and don't like to feel this way, so sometimes against all logic we cover it up with denial, we become defensive, etc. Realize deep down he is struggling. Maybe he's gotten to the point where he's completely recognized the struggle, maybe not. Either way, it is a war between the flesh and the Spirit and I urge you to stay in constant prayer for yourself and him. Educate yourself about the addiction and stay supportive. God can bring you both through it. After my wife got over the initial shock and hurt and looked into it, she began to understand that, as the word says, there is a battle and we need to stay together. She has become very supportive and that has helped to change my attitude tremendously. It won't be easy, as again, many years have helped to build the stronghold and it's not gonna go away overnight. Just recognizie it for what it truly is and let God do His work. Ultimately (Romans 8:28), "All things work together for the good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose". God may very well use your husband one day to help others overcome a similar problem. May He keep you and bless you through this trial.....
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