Need Advice And Help, drugs, depression, friends, college Options

[Shelah]

I am stuck. Very confused with life. Not wanting to sound like I am feeling sorry for myself, but I want to give you a bried backstory of me. I come from a very broken home. Molested and raped by baby sitters/and cousins. My mother was very wonderful, hard working. Two jobs. My (father) was non existant. I was going to college for computer technology. I decided it wasent for me, so I have come to a hard place. i am 23, I recently moved from WA to OR to start over. My goals are
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New friends away from the drugs/alcohol, start going to college for a career, to get healthy, to find someone to love and share my life with and have a christian family with. ~~~

I am very obese, on a verge of a depression as of now. I worry alot about my health but cannot seem to get the weight off. I left my family/friends/job/community college for Portland and am very sad and on my last hope with God and all of his helpers. Because, I recently found out that my mom in (MT) told me who my dad is, but she is very hurt by the whole issue, (they were best friends) and havent spoken in...well 23 years. he doesnt know I exist. I want to meet him, I feel like I am nothing yet. I want to improve my life before I meet him. I miss all of my friends, they were VERY good friends, I am missing my old town I grew up in, cant seem to find friends here. I am struggling with the weight loss and I truely believe the person God wants me to spend my life with, I left back in WA. I recently have come to God more than ever and am listening but not hearing anything. My career is going no where and I want to go to college but for what? I can find nothing as a career would ever make me happy, they all just feel like jobs to me, and i feel like I cant find something I like. It is very depressing, i think I might be happy as long as I had God and I had the man in WA. And my career wouldnt matter. But I know thats not the way it was meant to be, I am so lost, so depressed and feel like my life has just shattered since I moved. Please any advice/help you can give me would help.

[Glen]

Hi Shelah! I'm very sorry all this has happened to you. I can see you're in a very painful place, right now. You seem to be, as you say, stuck! You may be surprised to know that I, and everyone I know, has been there...stuck. We all got there in different ways, but we were there...right where you are. No direction or action seems enough. The weight of our problems and emotions overwhelming. I've been there so many times I actually get excited for the people who find themselves there and ask for help. I'm excited for you and optimistic for your future...that's a fact. Let me tell you why I think you're in the most powerful moment of your life.
1. You know where you've been and don't want to go back. I'm speaking in terms of abuse, drugs/alcohol and career you're not interested in. Many people spend their lives going back, looking back, wanting either to correct or revel in some aspect of their past.
2. You know where you are. Most people are in complete denial about where they are, hiding their dissatisfaction by acquiring the latest gadget or fad to show everyone how "together" they are. As long as they remain in denial, they will live in silent desperation over a life they hate but can't admit hating. I'm not sure you know just how much power you have because you admit your life isn't what you want it to be. You may even envy those others but you are the one to be envied because you've taken the first step toward the life you want...the one God designed you to have. Someone smarter than me said:

"All progress begins with dissatisfaction."

3. You know where you want to go. You even put it in your post. When Marsha (my wife of 20 years) and I were dating, we each made a list of changes we would like to see in each other. I thought she should speak up more...you know, communicate. She thought I should quit drinking, smoking, exercise, lose weight, listen more. We both agreed we would try, put the list away, and promptly forgot all about it. About 5 years later, we found the list while cleaning and we discovered something amazing. Everything on that list had been accomplished without our ever referring to the list again. You've listed your goals. That, all by itself, requires faith that I feel is very rare.


I'm excited for you, Shelah! God will help you with every goal on that list...I know this from experience. All you have to do is begin taking tiny steps toward your goals and believe God will make the big ones happen. I know it's frightening to start in a new direction. That fear is the biggest thing that's got you stuck. Don't worry about the big picture or how things could fail. Pick easy things you know you can do to get closer to your goals...celebrate when you take a step. You will have setbacks, but God would not have given you those dreams if He were not going to help you achieve them. Just get up and go again, gradually closer, gradually bigger steps, knowing God will do His part. We'll be praying for you. Please keep us posted on what you're doing and how God is working in it.

[Guest_lucky2bhere_*]

Hi Shelah

I am younger than you, but I know how hard it can be to have a broken home. It can be a very damaging and hurtful time, and if I were not in God's hands, I would not be here today. I am thankful that He took the time to show me that I needed Him in my life.

God has promised in His word that he will provide for all of our needs. I would suppose that he has provided you with all your friends etc... back where you moved from. I have been through this exact same thing, and through His Words to us, He was able to show me that I had done the wrong thing.

As for a career, ask the Lord for direction.

This verse from James chapter 4 is something for us to think about.

"For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that."

I will say a prayer for you.