Xanys,
I feel for you in this struggle... Immediately, I could suggest you seek a good, christian church and MORE importantly a fellowship of Christians -- you'd be amazed how much support you would find, and how enjoyable that would be!!! It will not be embarrassing, nor humiliating as going to a secular counselor, psychiatrist or whoever else!...
You will be able to draw power of encouragement in this battle from reading scriptures, but with fellow Christian's more so -- God is a word, but God (Christ) is also a Spirit, and the Spirit is revealed more often in His children - live men and women, who have the gifts to help you in this! My advice is to avoid legalistic churches, even though many good, bible-teaching churches could be "planted deeply in His true theology/bible study", they may lack the gifts to help you and you need this right now - you know it....
From what you have written, I'd guess, you are a young person. Can not tell if a woman or a man (maybe I am not observant of what you wrote, or how you wrote it?)... I say this, because it matters... there are different challenges with different sexes.
Seek fellowship is my best advice, that is in His Spirit. I speak of Christ's loving and merciful spirit, to be clear on that. There is absolutely no power in Baptist's "works" or "condemnation"...
Then, if this is in appropriate stage of your life, I'd say -- seek Godly marriage... God created marriage for that purpose, to heal... to help, to encourage us when we are the lowest... Find a good husband, or a wife. Don't stay in this misery, this is not what God would want from you! Be a transformation to all who know you, in Christ's name! With lots of His Love for you!
|