Heartbreaking Loss And Walk With God Options

[Srhm0123]

Hello Everyone,

I need help but am encouraged just to find this site.

After growing up Atheist, I became a Christian as a young adult. I willingly traded my self-preservations/ interests and instead invested in God, believing that if I put God first He would take care of the things pertaining to me. (First ye seek the kingdom of God...and all these things shall be added unto you) I had a personal relationship with Him daily.
When I married, I reluctantly gave up my career in Law (to the point of no return)and home schooled our ill daughter.
To make a long story short, my husband lost his business/ job/trade. We lost our home, insurance, credit to get another, etc. Everything.
If obediently following God right down the plank to life more abundantly and losing everything wasn't enough...I stopped hearing his voice. I fasted, prayed everyday for 2 years desperately trying to hear from Him ( trying to find some sin I committed unknowingly, etc) in all the devastating loss to no avail.
After years of being a Christian, I am just recently coming to learn about this situation where God will willingly remove His felt presence from you (dark night of the soul) but now I feel like I am really losing all faith and becoming so overwhelmed with anger towards God for the loss, His abandonment and resentment for not looking out for myself instead. ( hard after being my best friend)
I'm trying to find a way to constructively process these feelings but am only finding sites (although similar stories) that have gave up on God and became atheist. I would just like to be able to process these feelings and move on. My life, marriage and kids are a mess and seems only to get worse instead of better.
Sorry that this is so long, tried to make it as short as possible. Thank you if you're still reading and for any assistance.

[Glen]

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggle. The title and subject of your post tells me you're one of God's faithful followers. Despite heartbreaking loss...walk with god.

If you don't mind, I'm not going to waste your time by offering platitudes, just whatever comes to mind. First, He promises in the Bible to draw near to us if we draw near to Him. I don't know what this book "Dark Night Of The Soul" says, but I'd suggest you get God's Word from God's Word. God doesn't promise we'll feel Him all the time or that we'll sense His presence in the same ways as the years go on. He just promises to be there for us...in us. For many years I "experienced" Him very little and had to act in faith that He was working in me to will and to do His purpose, as the Bible says He will do. As it turns out, that's exactly what He was doing. Now, I see Him in everything...even my struggles, but it's eyes of faith, not human eyes...not human senses. If, in fact, God will "willingly remove his felt presence," it's probably only so you'll learn not to lean on getting tweaked in some sensory way. I strongly recommend you read Hebrews chapter 11 for an understanding of how the Bible describes the lives of those faithful in God. It isn't that we're supposed to suffer for God...I don't believe that, for a moment...but I do believe God honors those who remain in Him even though we're suffering, even though we're not getting what we asked for in prayer. The Bible says It rains on the just and the unjust. These faithful in Hebrews didn't receive His promise during their human lives, but remained faithful to Him. I pray two things for both you and I: 1. That we never be tested to that point. 2. That we remain faithful if we are.

I'm praying for you. I believe you have the faith of those people in Hebrews, or you would have let go instead of seeking Him more fervently. Start looking for miracles.

[semi]

Srhm -

I have not read the Dark Night of the Soul either but I have read a few other things A.W. Tozer has written which were very good.

There certainly does come a time which might well be called the Dark Night of the Soul and I am not so sure I understand its full purpose but it seems as though it is necessary that we undergo this in order to develop spiritually.

The clash in this comes when our expectations in the physical are not compatible with our needs as spirits. I speak from experience as I went through this from late 1959 until (I am not sure when I came out of it as it was a gradual process) I suppose it was in the 1980s. (I was and still am a bit hard-headed)

The problem is that we cannot make sense of it while we are suffering it. I am not even sure that anything I say will make sense to you now that you are in it. It says somewhere (not going to look it up so that I don’t blow off this post) to “Stand - and watch the Lord go before you and fight your battles”.

Akin to this is the modern cliché: “Let go & Let God”. When you release all of this to God and tell Him to just go ahead with what He’s doing and you will try to accept it - after a while things will suddenly begin turning around. Apparently they turn around when YOU are ready - not as it if were when God gets around to it.

The lesson to be learned in all this seems to be that we MUST be willing to give up EVERYTHING we think is important in this life in order to be prepared for the next. It is a major part of what Jesus expressed as; “Lay up your treasures in Heaven”.

Just let me say that in all my own experience, I have things I can tell you that you would be inclined to say “Hogwash !” But they are true.

Lord, Please give her the understanding of all this and the strength to endure it and the breakthrough to rise out of it - and if it is possible at this point, please do for her and her family the sorts of things you have done for me and my family, In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Shalom.

[WithAllMyHeart]

Srhm:
He hasn't forgotten yOu!!!
you are the apple of His all seeing eye : )
JER. 29:11

It is Christmas Day and I want to say Merry Christmas!!
If I were to even try to tell you about my own life experiences
that God has so faithfully stood by me through and ALLOWED to
happen to me, though it wasn't my own doing, but because sin is in the world,
I wouldn't know where to begin, there's just SO MUCH..

No one would look at my life and want it, and I don't sulk about that
because I know that I have a life that is pleasing to the Father, and
to me, that knowledge is what I have learned to be fundamental in getting
through all the 'gunk' that can go on in this world.
I am persuaded that if tested enough, we all come to the question of "WHY GOD?"
for some it takes very little, others it takes the hurricane, but if tested enough
we all find that we are fundamentally flawed and when we come through that
testing we discover that God is nothing like humanity!!
With it's flaws and imperfections, He doesn't share in any of our weakensses
and HE LOVES US knowing how GREAT ours are!!!

This to me is the true wonder of this time of year, the reality that in the face of the
non-believing world shopping and giving gifts, but not knowing the Saviour
for whom the day is meant to commemorate,, not knowing that it's not at all
about what we have to give, not to God or one another,
but what HE HAS FREELY GIVEN TO US as sinners--
THE TRUTH that when you have GOD you have EVERYTHING.. ROMANS 8:32
LET GOD BE GLORIFIED FOR ALL ETERNITY

That though we suffer, because we live in a rebellious world where peoples
hearts are hardened towards The Lord, by HIS POWER we overcome it all!!
In this HE IS GLORIFIED forever , that we are living testaments to HIS GREATNESS,
that will be recorded for all eternity in heaven, for God's Praise and Glory..
When we have a right perspective, which we will in heaven, we won't have all the
''gunk'' that we have to contend with in this present form and world.
And then we will see things clearly, but even though we have all the stuff to deal
with, we can still have those moments of clarity, when we get that it's not about
us at all, but about the one who created everything and that we can commune
with Him, our lives are so small and yet they count before Him.
Because it pleased Him to choose you out of the world, HE DID IT and everyday
He holds on to you, even though you don't feel Him or hear Him he hasn't stopped
speaking to you, because what He has said still abides!!!!!!!!

Really there is nothing to beat right perspective and who can say that they always
feel and walk in it,, not I, but I do know that when I'm thinking straight, not according
to what I can see with my sight, but what I know by God's divine revelation
nothing else matters, because I have this immovable knowledge that GOD IS IT and
that NOTHING can tear me away from that and I have lived through enough storms
to know that the devil is real and he is seeking those he may devour and that's what
he wants to do you and your family and ONLY GODS POWER can keep you..
Don't trust in your feelings, or your hearing, but HIS WORD!!!
Because that is YOURS when you believe it and the more it's tested and purified
the deeper and purer your faith will become..
YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR STRUGGLES, we all have them and God is at the helm
of them all..
I pray that no matter what is to be, your faith will not fail..
In Christ's Name amen...

jer. 29:11