hi, my name is dino,,,and is there anyone who can help me...
i cant find my god, my life is filled with anger and bitterness, the only thing that that is preventing me from suicide is hell, three years ago ,ive been praying for a wife, and a word came from father, not by power nor by might, but by my spirit says the lord, i meditated on this for some time, and then boom i fell hopeless in love, with a wonderfull greek woman, we had a relationship for two years, and then all of a suden it ended, for the first time i was at peace, believing that god had answerd my prayer, i rested in the rrelationship, even at times it seemed to be going rough, but my trust was in my god, then one day it ended, its almost a year, and the tears still whelm up inside of me, i know i have no right to blame god, but for some reason, i blame god, saying father but i trusted you, and you let me down, i believed in you and you let me down, i feel that all the trust and faith i had in god,is now null and void, i really am stuggling to pray, i have no desire to be with god, or his people, im messing around, drinking myself to a stupa on most night, and i have no tollerance towards my staff my family, friends, even myself, i can trully see my life spiraling downward, but some how i cant trully let go, i am so hurt, the tears dont stop, and im getting to a point where i feel insanity is going to over take me..
please help me.....

Well, dino - you've come to the right place. You have described me almost perfectly although I never got into drinking because I am a control freak on one hand so I don't like any sensation in which I am not in complete control and for the other thing: I REALLY dislike the taste of alcohol and beer.

Otherwise, your situation is very much the same as mine. She was Brazilian. I was absolutely convinced this was it and it was a beautiful relationship - or so I thought because one day it ended without the slightest hint that anything was wrong and without any reason given. I hurt so bad I wanted to die. My prayers fell on deaf ears. So I rejected God. and became an atheist.

My ability to love was cold. At best it was wak because I never trusted another woman after that. Despite this, I did get married but it was nearly 13 years of emotional turmoil.

Then one day in 1971 God spoke AUDIBLY to me and put me through an experience I cannot ever forget. I was so blown away by that experience I was like dumbfounded for the next 8 years. Then in 1979 - now just recently married a second time, we had some MAJOR tragic situations in which my wife said God spoke to her audibly as well. Having experienced this myself, I knew from what she described absolutely He did in fact speak to her. Had it not been for my earlier experience I would have probably thought she had lost her mind.

In 1983. God spoke to me again - but this time in a Dream. The Dream concerned the End-Times. In 1996 I went to Him and asked Him to explain Revelation to me. And He did, but not by speaking audibly to me - rather by making me understand things I had never been able to understand before. I have spent all the years since trying to convey to others what Revelation is really telling us but most reject it.

Also, through a series of miracles we (still have the same wife) were able to escape from Las Vegas after nearly 9 years and are now in Texas surrounded by loving helpful people. It is a good thing because our health has been failing since way back in Las Vegas. I really believe that this is the final testing for us before the End of this Age.

I don't know what to tell you, dino, because I feel as though God is testing you and I have no idea how He is going about it. I pray that God give you the necessary strength to hold on and endure this. I pray that He give you His Peace that passes understanding. I pray He rekindle the love in your heart, In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Shalom.

Hello Dino, I know exactly what you are going through I have been put through the same tests, mine not being about a relationship but about finances. I had all I wanted all i ever prayed for a successful business and every material thing I ever lionged for including the Home of my dreams.... I got all I prayed for and I LOST IT ALL.. Now i struggle to just do my grocerires and I blamed everything but myself. I lost all faith in God because I could not understand why he would allow me to have all I dreamed and pray for and then take it away... I thought I had done something wrong and I was being punished.
I thought maybe he didn't love me and did not care about what I wanted or needed...

Today I have learned that maybe God was trying to get my attention, I spent so much time asking and not enough thanking and enjoying what I had. I believe when we lose something it is because something much better is in our near future, although this is so hard to grasp when you are in pain, I believe it to be so.... I still cry about all my family and I have been through and it still hurts, but I pray for guidance and understanding......

Dino, God loves you and when he removes something or someone in your life it is because for some reason which you may not see right now it was not right for you.... Dont lose faith , bellieve. Drinking and feeling sorry for yourself is unhealthy, mentally and physically.....

God will put someone in your life but you have to let them in....
right now your are angry , release your anger accept what has happened
open your heart and your life to God, your friends and family...
Believe in miracles and love yourself first,
before anyone can look at you with love, you must love yourself
I will pray for you...
Help me pray........
Love
connie