It's been two years now since my wife changed my life by having an affair with a co-worker which continues today. His 20th but he is single and 10 years younger with no children and to my knowledge anyway, her first. My problem really isn't so much about the affair anymore as it is with the deprivation of my rights as a father to indeed father my 2 beautiful children everyday. My children are healthy and great kids and I should be grateful from God that they are, and that my health is fine. I have never been an advocate of divorce and never looked at marriage as so disposable as people do today. She served me with divorce papers back in January, but she has since dragged her feet. If I push it myself it will save me dramatically financially in which now I am literally scraping to make ends meet and be able to provide an inviting environment for my children when they are with me. My wife seems to have no conscience or guilt for the pain she has caused myelf as well as my children. Can she go on living without it and should I pursue other avenues than I currently am. And finally, will I ever be able to actually love again. 2 years and not as much as a spark. I have tried to let people into my life, but I have been unable to. I am in a bit of a depression and I feel God is the only One who can pull me out of this. This site is wonderful and it took a lot of courage to write, but I finally did. Hope someone can help me...John