Jen, I have been where you are. I was a christian at a young age, then went my own way for many years. In spite of all my sin, God reached out to me and saved me and brought me into a close relationship again. Praise God, He knows your heart, and will soften it and will give you all the comfort and encouragement you need. He will heal all your hurts and future ones too. You are very brave, hang in there dear heart . One of my favorite scriptures is this one, I hold on to it daily. Phil. 1:6 For I am confident of this very thing, that HE who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. ---Just rest in Him. Blessings to you, Sandy