Coonie -
You have 5 more days. Be strong. How will you killing yourself change the situation? If God is going to do something here, He will not do it until the last moment.
God may be testing you but He is not punishing you. Evil is rampant these days and you are caught in the middle of it.
Give this whole thing to God and say, "Whatever your Will is, strengthen me to endure it. Ask for His peace in this.
My wife and I were threatened with 44 years in prison - but we stood firm. After 2 1/2 years of fighting, the State caved in.
Shalom.
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