I don't know where to start, I grew up in a household that promoted going to church, I liked church as a child, however, I lost my way when I was molested by my uncle as a child, this not only happened with one uncle, but with two, I was getting confused as to how family relationships were supposed to work. I got married at the age of consent and had two beautiful children, my husband started messing around with my sister, I felt guilt, shame and a uselessness that is difficult to explain, I felt like a failure! I grew further away from God, I know that shouldn't have happened, I don't think my sister meant to do what she did, nor did my ex. My relationships after my marriage have been sorely lacking in real Godliness, and I need to get back to where I should be with the Father, I am just so sure that it's too late, I don't think he can forgive me for my bad behavior, I can't really blame him either. My ex passed away several years ago, the death certificate states it was sarcoma. I really missed his presence in our children's lives. I can't seem to make relationships real, marriage seems so far away from me as I can't seem to find anything that is wholesome, I still feel so dirty. I want so badly to get back to the Lord, someone please tell me how to ask for his forgiveness?
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